Molly's Blog

Vote for TWLOHA to win $1 million!

2010-01-20T16:03:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Chase Community Giving, To Write Love On Her Arms has the chance to win $1 million! But they will only win if enough people vote.

The money ($1 MILLION! That's a lot!) will be used for the launch of IM Alive, an online suicide crisis call center. 100% of the staff of IM Alive will be certified by the QPR Institute, and it will run 24/7 and should be available to anyone with internet access. Basically, it will be an Instant Message- based version of 1-800-SUICIDE.

If you think the idea of an online suicide crisis center is "silly", or "not needed", consider this- about 1/3 of people who call 1-800-SUICIDE hang up as soon as they hear a human voice. How many people do you think are so nervous that they hang up before someone picks up, or maybe they don't even call in the first place? How many people may have committed suicide because they didn't get the help that they need?

IM Alive could change that. Some people feel much more at ease talking online, and so an suicide crisis center that's instant-message based could make these people feel more comfortable in terms of reaching out.

IM Alive won't just be "send an AIM to this screenname"- it will have a custom-built instant-message platform, and as previously said will have 100% of its staff certified by the QPR Institute (training is approximately 50 hours, plus required service- I believe quite similar to the training required to work at 1-800-SUICIDE, except it's all online).

Some people may disagree, but I believe- and I believe very strongly- that suicide is preventable. But suicide is only preventable if people who are having suicidal thoughts reach out for help, and IM Alive could give people another way to reach out. IM Alive could help prevent suicides. Please vote for TWLOHA so they can get the money they need to launch it.

Become a fan of Chase Community Giving here- http://www.facebook.com/ChaseCommunityGiving

A few clicks will help @TWLOHA win $1 Million for suicide prevention. Please share this with others. Vote here:http://bit.ly/7si7Be

Attend the facebook event here- http://www.facebook.com/#/event.php?eid=289427544135&ref=mf

Please vote, share this event with your friends, set it as your facebook, myspace, or twitter status... do whatever you can so TWLOHA can win the money to launch IM Alive!

Awesome Thing #1- Discovering a new song by your favorite band

2010-01-03T21:51:00.000-08:00

Yesterday (er, two days ago) I discovered the song "You're Gone" by Good Charlotte.

Now, I've been a huge Good Charlotte fan since I bought their second album, The Young and the Hopeless, when I was in sixth grade (2003). I bought their first (self-titled) album later that year. In October of 2004, when they released their third album, The Chronicles of Life and Death, originally I was going to wait a few days to buy it, but my dad bought me a copy of the CD the day it was released (he also started singing "I Just Wanna Live" around the house, but that's a different story). A few months later, I went on eBay and got 4 CDs worth of Good Charlotte bonus tracks/b-sides, demos, live songs, and acoustic versions. Win.

Less than two years later, Good Charlotte started hyping their fourth album, which was to be titled Good Morning Revival. Of course, I pre-ordered a copy as soon as I could, but when I found out, about 10 days before the release date (which was March 27, 2007), that someone had leaked the entire album online (I think it was released earlier in Japan or something), of course I downloaded it (okay, it was an illegal download; however, I paid for the CD, so I didn't feel too bad about not wanting to wait). The illegal download came with two bonus tracks- "Face The Strange" and "Jealousy". I heard about another supposed bonus track called "You're Gone", but I didn't bother looking it up (I'd heard "Jealousy" was actually called "You're Gone" so I never bothered looking for the song called "You're Gone"... also I was lazy).

The other day, I was on Youtube, and stumbled upon a Good Charlotte song I had never heard before- "You're Gone" (no, not the song "Jealousy"). It was so cool. I loved the song, and the fact that it was "new" to me was awesome. This brings me to Awesome Thing #1- discovering a new song by your favorite band. I mean, it's great listening to all the album material by your favorite band. But finding an old, unheard of track is like finding a piece of previously unearthed gold- sure, you're not the first to hear the song, infact many people have heard it already, but there's something about finding an older song (preferably a b-side, bonus track, demo, or unreleased song- like "You're Gone") by your favorite band that's supremely satisfying.

Tomorrow Holds Such Better Days

2009-12-30T08:40:00.000-08:00

I'm really not sure why I'm posting this story here. I've never posted a story I've written on my personal blog before, but for some reason I guess I figured it would be a good idea.

THIS STORY DEALS WITH DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE. DO NOT READ IF YOU FEEL THIS WILL BE TRIGGERING TO YOU.

Author's Note- This story was inspired by the song "Adam's Song" by Blink-182. It's not a word-for-word interpretation of the song, as some song-fics are.

The lines in italics (except those right after Adam wakes up, and right at the very end) are the letter Adam is writing. Strike-outs mean he's crossed out the word or words.

This story was written pretty quickly, so forgive me if it isn't perfect , but I really felt like it was a good idea to publish it now. The story was pretty rushed, but something told me to publish it. A revised version isn't impossible in the future.

I hope you like the story. Please comment if you do.

**********

"Fuck it," I said. "Fuck it."

I was fed up. Fed up with life. I had been depressed for a year, and it wasn't getting any better. I was in pain all the time, and finally, I decided to do something about it.

It's funny, really, the way my life is about to end. Out of all my friends, I was always the one who was happy, smiling and laughing. I'd had a great sense of humor, and though my grades were (at one point) respectable, I was a class clown. I was the class clown. I lived to make people laugh, to make them smile. I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life, but it never felt like it mattered.

But that all changed one September, two months after I turned sixteen. I had just started eleventh grade, and all of a sudden… things were different. School was tougher, and more stressful. I didn't want to disappoint my parents, or myself, or my teachers, so I tried to work, but I couldn't- I just couldn't. I felt like the only one in the world, or at least the only one in my small San Diego suburb, who didn't know exactly what they wanted to do after high school. My grades slipped- first a little, and then they hit rock bottom.

I stopped laughing. I didn't want to think about the future, and I figured- if I didn't have a plan for the future, that would be okay, since my life could end early anyway. It became harder and harder to get out of bed. I wasn't sure if my parents realized anything was "wrong" with me, but did it even matter? No matter how amazing and loving they were to me, they fought with each other, and nothing they did could cure my depression.

So I began writing my letter to say goodbye.

~~Dear Mom and Dad,~~

~~Dear Mom, Dad, Farky, Jeff, and Josie,~~

~~Dear Mom, Dad, Josie, Farky, and Mr. Jones,~~

~~Dear Josie, Mr. Jones, Ryan, Matt, and Dave,~~

Dear Everyone,

If you haven't noticed, ever since the start of junior year, I've basically been ~~not myselfupset~~ ~~pissy~~ ~~acting like I have PMS-~~ ~~suici-~~ depressed.

~~I'm not sure if any of you will care~~

~~You~~

I know you'll miss me, but ~~I'm sorry~~ I just couldn't do this anymore.

Does it even matter that I'm dying? God, I don't know. I loved life at one point, but eventually, it was just too much.

Every day after school, I'd just come home and sit in my room, staring at the ceiling. I used to skateboard to and from school, but then I stopped enjoying it, so I just walked. The town's streets were made for skateboarders, but that no longer mattered to me.

Skateboarding wasn't the only thing that I had lost my love for. Everything that used to matter to me- school, my guitar, the school newspaper. I wasn't very good at the guitar, but I had fun playing it nonetheless. I had been playing it outside of school when I met Josie. I couldn't get rid of it, even if I was never destined to be a rock star. Even if I no longer played it again.

I longed to feel normal, to feel happy, to be the guy that I used to be, before eleventh grade. Before I became depressed. Before I started wanting to die, before I became… not me.

The truth was, I was a coward. I never faced my problems. Once upon a time, I loved life. But then the pain became too much, and I couldn't deal with it anymore, so made the decision to end my life.

It's not your fault, Mom and Dad. It's just that life became too much pain for me to handle, and I had to go.

The pain inside was too much to bear, and after almost a year of it not getting any better, I couldn't take it. Sixteen was horrible. Who's to say seventeen would be any better?

It's funny, really, the way my life is about to end. But does it matter? Six months from now, I'll be long gone. Dead, buried in a box six feet under, beyond all of this.

~~Six months from now, everyone will have~~

~~In six months, you'll probably~~

~~Eventually, everyone~~

I know this is going to hurt you, but I know that eventually, you will pull through, and you will all forget about my death, or at least get past it.

Also, please don't throw away my things. ~~Give everything I own to~~ ~~Give all my stuff to~~

Give my guitar, my notebooks, that Rancid t-shirt I used to wear all the time, and my Converse, to Josie. Give my CDs and my stereo to Jeff. Give my t-shirts, my jeans, and the rest of my clothes to Dave. Give my studded belts, that Dickies messenger bag, and the wood things I made at day camp to Matt. Give my skateboard and the posters on my walls to Ryan. Also, give him the picture of the two of us that he took at Warped Tour last year.

Ryan and I had gone to Warped Tour together every year since we were twelve. It had become a tradition. I knew he'd want the picture. It was the last time I remembered being myself- being Adam.

Since then, I didn't know who I'd become. But I wasn't myself. And I hated it.

Mom and Dad, I know it's going to be too hard for you, so please, once you clear my stuff out, please, don't go in to my room again. Just close the door. Lock it. Board it up, if you have to. Leave my room alone. I know this hard, but it'll just make it harder if you're in there.

I could imagine my mom, sitting on my bed, staring at my empty, poster-less walls, crying her eyes out. I couldn't let that happen.

Jeff, remember that time when I was eight and you were six, and I spilled that cup of apple juice in the hall?

There had been a cup full of apple juice, sitting outside of my bedroom door. Jeff knocked on the door, and I opened it.

"Mom says it's time for dinner," he'd said. I had followed him downstairs, and, in the process, knocked over the cup of apple juice.

I'd blamed the incident on Jeff at the time, but my mom, who had put the juice there (I'd said I was thirsty, but I was in a "phase" where I didn't want to come out of my room), blamed it on herself.

The truth was, though, it wasn't Jeff's fault, or my mom's. It was my own.

Jeff, ~~I'm sorry I blamed you~~ ~~it was my fault~~ just like that time, this isn't your fault. It's not Mom's fault either, but please, tell her. If she hears in your words that I said it's not her fault, then I know she'll believe it.

**********

There was enough pain, but I was done. Done. I was done with life, and soon, it'd all be over with.

I don't really have anything else to say. You're all probably wondering why I did this, and the reason is because I just couldn't take it anymore.

So I guess that's all.

Goodbye.

I swallowed a handful of pills, and for good measure, using the razor blade my dad had given me when I first started to get facial hair, made a nice, deep cut across my wrist.

I lied down on my bed. I was tired. Everything looked fuzzy, and I just sat there bleeding, for several minutes.

Then I heard someone shout, "Adam!" and suddenly, everything was black.

**********

I blinked my eyes a few times, unsure of what I was seeing, then opened them fully. All I could see above me was white, and I was in a warm, comfortable bed.

Is this heaven?

I blinked again, and then turned to the right where I saw my mom.

Why is mom in heaven? She's still alive, right?

Unless...

"Adam?" her comforting voice said. "Oh, Adam! Adam, how are you feeling?" she asked soothingly.

"Is this heaven?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "you're in the hospital."

"What- what happened?"

"You swallowed some pills, and there was a pretty big cut on your wrist. Josie called 911. The paramedics took you to the hospital. Adam, they- they found a letter," my mom's normally confident voice was shaky. "Adam, you tried to kill yourself."

"So... I'm alive?"

"Yes, you're alive."

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Just after seven in the morning."

"Morning?" I asked. "What day is it? How long have I been out for?"

"About seven hours. Josie came by and found out just after midnight- she wanted to be the first to see you on your birthday."

My birthday. God. I used to love my birthday, and yet I had almost missed this one.

"She's here, too, and Dad and Jeff." I sat up a bit, and looked around.

"Ryan's on his way," Josie said. "He wants to see you. We all do. I can't believe you almost left us."

"I can't believe I'm alive," I admitted.

"I can't believe you almost died," Josie replied. "I love you, Adam."

"I-"

"Adam!" My best friend Ryan interrupted, as he burst into the hospital room and ran over to the bed. "Man, are you okay?"

"I guess I'm okay now."

"I had no idea you felt so-"

"Depressed?"

"- yeah. Adam, why didn't you talk to me about it?" Ryan's normally cheerful expression became one of concern. "I'm your best friend."

"And I'm your girlfriend. You can talk to me about anything," Josie added.

"I- I know, it's just-" I struggled to say. "I don't know."

"I can't believe you did this, but you're okay now, right? I mean you're not going to…" Ryan's words trailed off.

"I don't know if I'm okay now."

"But you will be, Adam, right? I've known you forever, I know you'll…" again, Ryan was unable to finish his sentence.

"I know you'll be able to be the person you were before you started feeling this way," Josie said.

"I hope so." I said. There was a silence after that, which was slightly awkward. I loved Josie and Ryan- Josie was my girlfriend of nearly two years, and Ryan had been my best friend practically since birth- but right now, I just wanted to be alone with my mom and dad.

"Ryan, Josie, I think Adam wants to be alone with us," my mom said, referring to herself and my dad. "Can you take Jeff to get some coffee?"

Without word, Ryan and Josie left the room with Jeff.

"Adam, I wish you would've spoken to us about this," said my dad, who had been silent the whole time. "If we had known how you were feeling, we would've gotten you help."

"I know, it's just-" I sighed. "Ever since the beginning of junior year, I just started feeling depressed. I was scared of the future, and everything was stressing me out. Being sixteen was great at first, but then it was just…" I didn't know how to finish the sentence, so I started a new one. "I thought I could do this alone. But I couldn't. I thought I'd be fine, I thought I'd be happier eventually. But I wasn't. Sixteen was so horrible, how did I know things would get better at seventeen? So I gave up."

"But why, Adam? Why didn't you just talk to someone, if not us, Josie, or Ryan, or Mr. Jones?" Mr. Jones was my English teacher sophomore year, and the faculty advisor for the school newspaper. Even after I stopped writing for the paper when I became depressed, I still went to talk to him after school all the time. I never told him how I was feeling, but did he know anyway?

"Because I'm a coward," I admitted. "I didn't have the guts to go tell someone how I was feeling. I thought it would mean I was weak. So when I couldn't take it anymore, I just…" I saw my mom's eyes fill with tears. My dad's eyes were shining, too.

"Oh, Adam," my mom said, pulling me tightly in a hug. "Adam, we love you so much, don't you understand that? We're going to get you help. We're going to make sure you get better." I smiled a half-smile.

"Thanks," I said.

"We love you," my dad told me. "I love you. Your mom loves you. Jeff loves you. Josie loves you. Ryan, Dave, and Matt, they all love you, too."

"I- I love you guys too," I admitted.

"You know, by the way, Adam," he replied, "today's July eighteenth. You're seventeen now."

I was seventeen. I had lived to the age of seventeen. I was alive. Sixteen was over, and as sure as I had been that seventeen would be no better, I knew I now had to give it a shot. I would get help, and maybe things would get better.

But I was seventeen. Seventeen years old, and I, Adam, was alive.

**********

It was awhile before they let me out of the hospital. I was on suicide watch at first, and spoke with multiple doctors- physicians, psychiatrists, and psychologists- as they tried to figure out what had been wrong with me (depression was the conclusion). The day after they left me out, Ryan and I went to the Warped Tour together. Not only did we get to see all of our favorite bands, we even got to meet some of them. Out of all the times we had been to Warped, that time was the best.

After we got back, Dave invited us over to his house for pizza. But I declined the invitation; I wanted to go home, and be in my room.

Only this time, I didn't want to just sit on my bed and stare at the ceiling lifelessly. I wanted to sit down, and figure out what I was going to do after high school. I had decided I wanted to be a journalist, and now that I knew where I was going, it was only a matter of figuring out how to get there. The future didn't scare me anymore, because I knew that whatever happened, it would be better than the past.

It's funny, really, the way my life almost ended. But I'm still here, and I'm not sixteen anymore. I'm seventeen, and I'm alive. What happened in eleventh grade, and the pain I felt inside, is behind me now. Sixteen was hard, but I know that tomorrow holds better days.

**********

I never conquered, rarely came
Tomorrow holds such better days.

**********

Author's Note- So, what did you think of "Tomorrow Holds Such Better Days"? I hope you liked it!

This story was inspired by "Adam's Song" by Blink-182. I didn't interpret it 100% word-for-word; I feel like if I had done that, it would've felt forced.

Exactly how the song "ends", I'm not positive. The kid- who I assume was named Adam- that it was written about apparently did go through with suicide. In Mark Hoppus's words "there are better things to do than kill yourself"- so maybe the character in the song didn't end up killing himself.

Either way, I knew that I wanted to tell a story of hope, that there is light at the end of the dark tunnel that, for Adam, happens at age sixteen? I didn't want to write a depressing story, that ended with a suicide. I wanted to write a story that would showcase that even after you have lost hope, it is possible to find it again.

The first short story I ever wrote was "Hold On", inspired by the Good Charlotte song of the same name. Again, that one deals with suicide and depression, only the main character doesn't go through with her attempt. However, I realize now that it's kind of a mess. I interpreted the song just about 100% word-for-word in that case. I tried to be a little less literal with "Tomorrow", which I think worked better.

Also, yes, the name Josie was taken from the Blink-182 song of the same name. Josie apparently wasn't a real girl, more of an idea of Mark Hoppus's "perfect girl". I imagine that Adam was absolutely smitten with Josie, but that he tried to push her away when he started feeling depressed, who, in his case, is "real". Props to anyone who figures out where I got the names of Adam's friends (Ryan, Dave, Matt).

If you are considering suicide, please, please, please reconsider. I know it might not seem like it now but there are better solutions to your problems. Please, talk to someone. Talk to a parent, friend, teacher, counselor, anyone you trust, or even call a hotline such as 1-800-SUICIDE. It's okay to get help. I know you may be skeptical, but getting help works- I'm living proof.

I really hope you enjoyed this story. Please comment and let me know what you thought.

"Completed?"- YES!- Three and a half years later...

2009-12-08T17:35:00.000-08:00

So, three and a half years ago (June 2006), I began work on a story called "Faded, Stupid, and Reckless" (title inspired by the song "Jaded" by Mest). It was a young adult romance. One year and 70,000 words (or so) later, in June 2007, it was finished. Soon after, I wrote a short "companion" piece- basically an epilogue to the story. I told myself I wouldn't write a sequel- "what's the point?", I'd said- and for the next year (year!), I didn't even think about it. But I couldn't let the story go completely. Instead, I let it rest for a few months, and in printed it out in March 2008. I read through the entire thing, start to finish, and later took a red pen to it- correcting grammar mistakes; crossing out unnecessary words, sentences, and paragraphs; rearranging things that didn't make sense.

In September 2008, I started the sequel to "Faded, Stupid, and Reckless", "Life's Waiting To Begin" (title from "The Adventure" by Angels & Airwaves). Both stories are definitely inspired by their titular songs, although there are other songs that have served as a soundtrack to both stories. I wrote down a list of songs that had served as inspiration for "Faded, Stupid, and Reckless" and created a soundtrack, which is fun for me to listen to.

The story centers around two main characters- I'll call them P and K for short. I've been writing about P and K for three and a half years. Their story spans over a decade (in fictional time) and is over 90,000 words long.

I've grown up with P and K, in a way. I created these characters when I was 14 (almost 15) years old, and this past August, I turned 18. These characters feel so real to me- of course, they're just words on a page, but they've existed for a pretty long time (I've been writing fiction for almost five years; P and K are the characters that I've written about the longest).

I've known for over a year how I wanted to end "Life's Waiting To Begin", and in fact had the "finale", or last chapter, already written out. And today, I finally finished it. I feel so accomplished now, to have finally finished a story that I've been working on for so long. I've known pretty much since I started writing "Life's Waiting To Begin" how I wanted the story to end, but the fact that it's actually complete now is so crazy to me. It feels good. It feels amazing.

It's weird, though. Because for a long time, like, after I was done with my homework and everything else I had to do for the day, I'd tell myself, "Okay. I should probably work on 'Faded, Stupid, and Reckless'/ 'Life's Waiting To Begin'." Only now, it's all done. I'll still be writing, of course. I just won't be writing *this* story, which is weird (I always feel this way after finishing a story, only this time, it's on a bigger scale because I was working on this one for so long). I'm not sure what I'll write next. Often, after I finish a story, I'll take a break from writing for awhile (that most definitely happened after I finished "Faded, Stupid, and Reckless"- I wrote almost nothing at all for a few months). But not always. I've been writing a lot for the past few days, and I sort of have that "fire" in me. So it's not unthinkable that I'll be working on something else (possibly even starting something new) soon.

The above is a screenshot of the uploader page where I've published "Life's Waiting To Begin". On the left hand side, you can see the chapter titles. On the right hand side at the top of the page (which you can't see in the picture), it asks if the story is completed. And today, I was finally able to click "YES"- yes, "Life's Waiting To Begin" is completed.

To add to my feelings of accomplishment: I'm off crutches! I've still gotta wear a knee brace like the one below, but not being on crutches is liberating, since I can finally do some things for myself.

Knee Injury #3

2009-11-27T11:21:00.000-08:00

I have made allusions to it in other recent posts, but if you haven't caught on, I had my third semi-serious (serious? I'm not sure what to call it, but it wasn't minor!) injury to my knee on October 1.

I used to do gymnastics. In March 2006, I tore my meniscus in my right knee while hurdling before a vault. I had surgery (just an arthroscopy- basically, they snipped off the piece of cartilage that had been torn) in late April 06, but it was a really fast recovery- I was walking without crutches the next day, and in physical therapy for only a month. I was able to dance in a recital less than a month after the surgery.

I went back to gymnastics in July 06. My third day back, I tore my meniscus and ACL in my left knee (landing a front handspring... on the Tumbl Trak). I had surgery (meniscus repair and ACL repair- they used a patellar tendon graft and now I have 2 screws in that knee) in September 06. I was in physical therapy for about 7 months, but it wasn't until about a year later- September 07- that I was 100% back to normal (before that, I had to wear a knee brace while dancing and doing other activities). July 06 was the end of my gymnastics "career", although since then I've been able to occasionally go on my backyard trampoline at home- wearing the knee brace, of course, and only doing what I'm confident I can do.

This fall, I joined my college's cheerleading team. I haven't been tumbling (I wanted to, but I knew it wasn't the best idea, at least until I spent a few months really focusing on getting my legs strong).

On October 1 at practice, I was front-spotting a liberty (if you don't speak cheer- click here for a pic) - basically, I was holding the wrists of the girls that were holding the foot of the girl on top). The flyer sort of wobbled, and came right at me. I tried to catch her... and my right knee just buckled. It twisted, or something, and it made a noise- I wanted to say it sounded (and felt) like something had shattered. I stood there shocked and then just collapsed to the floor, crying and in pain. My coach and another cheerleader helped me off the mat (I literally had to hop- my knee was so painful, and so incredibly unstable, that I couldn't put any weight on it at all).

I rode in the ambulance to the ER (which, luckily, was just down the block- literally). They did an xray, and nothing showed up wrong on the xray, so I'm supposed to see an orthopedist this week. But I knew from experience that "no broken bones" isn't always a good thing in terms of injury diagnosis.

But until I saw the orthopedist, I'm in a knee brace and on crutches. I hate being on crutches, but I really couldn't walk without them. The swelling has gone down, but the knee is still REALLY unstable. I couldn't bend my knee all the way, but I couldn't completely straighten it either (my knees normally hyperextend a lot, and I can't do that). The ER doctor prescribed Naprosyn, which helps with the pain and swelling, but by the time it started to wear off (I take it at breakfast and bedtime, so usually midafternoon/dinner) my knee starts to feel really, really sore. I hated being on crutches. I hated not being able to do anything for myself- when I go to the cafeteria, I had to get someone to carry my food for me; if I drop something on the floor, I often need someone else to pick it up for me. All of my classes are on my campus's main quad, which is almost a mile from my dorm. Luckily, I'm able to get rides from campus security (which I am amazingly thankful for), but it sucks having to wait for someone to pick me up and not being able to walk back with my friends.

I saw an orthopedist on October 6. She said my ACL felt "loose", but so did the ACL on my "good knee" (the left knee, which has been reconstructed in 2006). So, she ordered an MRI. I had the MRI on October 9. They weren't able to see anything right away, but there was a ridiculous amount of fluid, they said. On October 12, I got a call from the orthopedist, confirming that I had a torn ACL and (as if that wasn't enough) torn lateral meniscus. I was still on crutches and in the immoblizer, although a few days later I was allowed to exchange the immoblizer for a neoprene sleeve (which made my life SO much easier).

I went home that weekend, and saw my home orthopedist. He brought up the images from my MRI (which I had delivered on a CD), and let me look at them. We tentatively scheduled surgery for a few days after New Years. Oh, and he said I could get off crutches as soon as my quads were strong enough, which they were. So no more crutches, but I did bring them back with me when I went back to college. I also got a hinged knee brace- pretty darn fancy, haha.

Fast forward a week. I was at a club meeting, literally standing around, when I must've taken a bad step, or something, and I felt this sudden, horrible pain on the inside of my knee. I knew I wasn't okay, so my friend helped me get back to my dorm (we were able to get a ride, but she helped me get to the car and then to my room). I was on crutches for the rest of that evening, but was able to walk the next day. Of course, I was in so much pain that I called my parents multiple times, and eventually ended up with prescriptions for Tramadol and Naprosyn.

On Halloween, I took the Tramadol without food (BIG MISTAKE), and felt so sick I couldn't go out (unfortunate, but at least I had been able to go to a costume party the night before).

A few days later, on my way in to work, I slipped and fell, barely avoiding another visit to the ER (the police officer who I waived over to help me actually called an ambulance to come get me, but I didn't actually go to the hospital). I was on crutches the rest of that day, but felt a lot better by the next morning. After I told my home, we talked to my hometown orthopedist and the dean at my college, and decided that it would be best if I could get the surgery earlier, so I'm not scheduled for December 3.

Since then, my pain has been on and off. I do leg exercises a few times a day, after which I ice it. I can't take the stairs normally, but at least my dorm building has an elevator (that only breaks sometimes... ugh). Recently I've been having a lot of pain in my shin. I'm not sure why. Ice helps, though. Since the surgery is so near, I can't take anti-inflammatories (that is, Naprosyn or Advil) anymore. I've been having more pain than I had before, but it's only a few more days till I get it fixed.

Things Worth Doing

2009-11-17T13:47:00.000-08:00

So I've been at college for over 3 months now (okay, I went home for a long weekend in October, but that's it!). In that time, I've done a lot of things. Some of them, I never thought I'd do, or at least I never thought they'd be worth it. I'd like to share with you some things that I've done (some since I've been at college; some from before then) that I think are completely, 100% worth doing.

Volunteering for a non-profit charity/ organization that means something to you. Volunteering for any non-profit is rewarding. Knowing that you're helping people- whether you're helping to organize a 5K to raise money for cancer research, or giving food to people that don't have any, or anything else- is amazing. You might not be doing everything, but you could be doing a lot, and you're making a difference. Really. But if you want to get the MOST out of volunteering, then try volunteering for an organization that means something to YOU, personally. What does that mean? That means that you find a cause or an issue that strikes YOU as something that needs to be "changed" or "fixed", and find an organization that does something to change or fix the issue. For me, one of the issues that strikes me as something important is the stigma of seeking help for mental illness, and the fact that because of that, many people don't seek help when they really need it. So that's why I'm getting involved with organizations like To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA), The Jed Foundation, Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE), and MTV's social campaign Half of Us. Knowing that I'm helping a cause that means so much to me is such a good feeling.
Going to class. Seriously. Once you're in college, especially if it's a big lecture (introductory math and science classes usually are), it's pretty easy to skip class. You can tell yourself it doesn't matter- you'll get the notes from a friend, or do the reading "later". But you (probably) won't. And your grades will, therefore, suffer. I know a lot of people in my introductory chemistry class that skip class a lot. A lot of people are also not doing well in the class- many are failing. Not surprisingly, a lot of the people that aren't doing well (not all, but a lot) are the ones not going to class. I go to class. I'm not doing spectacular, but I go to class, pay attention, take notes, and do the homework, and my grades are better than a lot of people's are. I'm thinking there might be a correlation. Seriously, if you go to class, you're forced to, you know, learn. Which is kind of the whole point of school.
Doing your homework. In correlation with the above post, if you don't do your homework, you won't learn the material. It's true. Look at it this week- you might have piano lessons a few times a week, but in order to really get anywhere, you need to practice on your own outside of that. Math class may be a few times a week, and going to class is necessary, but you have to practice math outside of class- that is, do your homework- in order to really learn it.
Taking Computer programming. Unless you're a computer science or engineering major, it probably has nothing to do with your actual major. However, computer programming really does teach you to think. A huge part of knowing how to program a computer is being able to think logically and come up with an algorithm to solve a problem. My computer programming class may or may not be related to my major, but I'm glad I'm taking it. An introductory class really doesn't involve much math (knowing some algebra is helpful- in most cases that's a prerequisite- but for "Java 101" or the like, advanced math shouldn't be necessary). For my computer programming class, our assignments consist of a "problem" or question- for example, write a program that takes a list of 100 randomly generated numbers between 10 and 100, and print out a numerically-ordered list of all even numbers. In order to do that, you have to break the problem down in to steps- first, determine which numbers are even, and then save them into a separate sub-list; then, determine the lowest number and place it at the beginning of the sub-list; then, determine the next-lowest number, etc. Or maybe it makes more sense to sort the list (determine the lowest number and place it first, then determine the next-lowest number, etc.) first, and after that take out the numbers that aren't even. Get the idea?
Not tearing your ACL. I know, tearing your ACL sounds like fun (everyone's doing it these days... haha), but it's really not. First, the injury is painful, and you might not be able to walk afterwards (the first time I tore my ACL, I was able to walk- carefully- a few hours later, but the second time, I was on crutches for 19 days, on doctor's orders). Second, there's a good chance that if you tear your ACL, you'll get other injuries too (such as a torn PCL, MCL, LCL, medial or lateral meniscus, or a bruised bone)- most people get some kind of secondary injury with the torn ACL. Third, the recovery is pretty long- it's usually at least a month wait until surgery (you have to see an orthopedist to diagnose the injury, usually get an MRI to confirm, and wait for the swelling to go down and range of motion to come back)- often more; then you've got several months of physical therapy; and even after that, it's awhile until you're 100% back to the way you were before the injury. Seriously. Don't tear your ACL. Or your achilles tendon. Don't break a bone either. Injuries suck.
Going to that toga/theme party. Just do it. Why? Because it's a toga party, and there might be more, but heck- why not? Go with a group of people (and stay with a group of people- it's just common sense; don't drink/eat anything that you didn't see opened and poured; you know the drill). Theme parties- any kind where you dress up, whether it be toga, luau, or a specific decade- are fun. Plus, even if the party isn't great, dressing up (at least for girls) is a lot of fun.
Driving 3 hours to see a band that had previously been broken up for 4 years and which you had never seen live before. By this, I'm referring to the fact that I drove 3 hours with one of my best friends to see Blink-182 this summer. The tickets weren't cheap, and on top of that we had to pay for a hotel and gas and food. But every single cent was worth it. I had never seen Blink-182 pre-break-up, so getting to see them live this summer? Yeah. Amazing. They played all of their best songs, and Tom, Mark, and Travis are seriously awesome performers. They know how to work an audience. It rained pretty much the whole time they were on stage, but it was possibly the best concert I had ever been to.
Learning how to cook and bake. Seriously. Once you can drive, if you can cook for yourself, then you're practically there on the way to independence. You don't have to be an expert chef, but if you can read and follow a recipe, you're good. Extra points if you can "throw something together" without a specific recipe, or write your own recipe. I've done it, and it's not as hard as you might think. Learn how to wash, peel, and chop fruits and vegetables. Learn how to make grilled cheese, pancakes, and scrambled eggs. Learn how to make cookies, brownies, and cupcakes (from mix; kudos if you can do it from scratch). I've been cooking for as long as I could remember, and it's so awesome to be able to not have to rely on someone else to do that for me.

Of course, there are other things that I've done that I think are worth doing. But more later.

Pick Up The Phone

2009-11-15T20:44:00.000-08:00

I'm a huge supporter of the organization To Write Love On Her Arms (as you may have noticed from some of my recent posts). Their mission statement, if you're not familiar with it, is: "To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery." I really couldn't put it in any better words.

I've never had the chance to go to a TWLOHA event, so I was TOTALLY excited when I heard about the Pick Up The Phone tour, featuring Blue October with opener B.O.B. The Pick Up The Phone tour was dedicated to suicide prevention, with people from 1-800-SUICIDE, TWLOHA, and PostSecret scheduled to be at the events. The tour was going to come to the House of Blues- just a quick bus ride from campus- on November 15. I definitely wanted to go.

I didn't purchase a ticket right away. In fact, it turns out that TWLOHA needed volunteers (18 and over, and able to get to/from the event) to help out at the event! I don't think I could explain in words how excited I was. Naturally, I sent an email and filled out a volunteer application. I was so, so excited to actually volunteer for an organization that means so much to me. I have had previous non-profit experience, but it was "behind-the-scenes"; I was so ready for the opportunity to go "out there" and meet people and tell them about To Write Love on Her Arms. Going to the event and meeting members of the TWLOHA would've been cool, but actually volunteering and knowing how much I would've helped? Yeah, that would've been pretty much amazing.

However, not long after that, I found out that the Pick Up The Phone tour had been cancelled, due to Blue October's lead singer, Justin Furstenfeld, being hospitalized due to an extreme anxiety attack. I was definitely a little upset that the tour had been cancelled, because I had really been looking forward to volunteering. But having struggled with mental health issues myself (I won't go in to detail here), I know that you can't always control it, and sometimes the best thing to do really is to rest. It is so, so important to get treatment.

So that was awhile ago. Today (okay, yesterday, be technical) was the date the show was going to be. I wish it could've happened, but I really think Justin did the right thing, and I know that it is important for him to heal.

For anyone struggling with mental health issues- whether it is depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, recovering from abuse of any form, self-injury, anxiety, addiction, suicide, or anything else- please, get help. Reaching out can be the hardest thing in the world. But please, please, please do it. If you are struggling with any of these things, please be aware that you are not alone. Recovery is not easy, but it is possible. I promise. I've held off on the cheesiness till now, but if you are in a crisis, please, please, please "pick up the phone" and call 1-800-SUICIDE (or any other hotline). Or talk to a friend, a parent, a teacher, a counselor. Just reach out.

"Presenting hope" to those dealing with mental illness may seem like a small thing, but it in no way is. I don't think it's possible to measure the impact of TWLOHA directly, but I think it's pretty clear that they've had a big impact. Friday was "To Write Love on Her Arms Day". I wrote "LOVE" on my arm, and if anyone questioned it, I'd planned to tell them all about the organization, and write "LOVE" on their arm. But I didn't get to write "LOVE" on anyone else's arm. Why? Because just about everyone I knew had already done it themselves.

I would like to add that you do NOT need to have personal experience dealing with any of the aforementioned issues in order to support TWLOHA, 1-800-Suicide, or any other organization. Writing "LOVE" on your arm, for example, does not mean you yourself have struggled with any type of depression, self-injury, or addiction. It means that you support the organization.

Something More Important This Time

2009-10-15T09:03:00.000-07:00

So, a lot of my blogs are fun and humorous, but today I'd like to write about something a little more serious: suicide. More specifically, suicide prevention. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for people ages 15-24, and the 11th leading cause of death overall. It's a pretty striking statistic, but suicide is 100% preventable.

First I'd like to share some statistics regarding suicide:
*90% of people who commit suicide were suffering from a diagnosable mental illness at the time of their death.
*Approximately every minute, someone in the US attempts suicide, and every 18 minutes, someone in the US dies by suicide.
*More people die from suicide than from homicide.
*The risk for suicide among young people is greatest among young white males; however, from 1980 through 1995, suicide rates increased most rapidly among young black males.9 Although suicide among young children is a rare event, the dramatic increase in the rate among persons aged 10-14 years underscores the urgent need for intensifying efforts to prevent suicide among persons in this age group.

Facts and Information
-Most suicide attempts do not work (because, generally, the person doesn't actually want to die- they want to end their suffering). A failed suicide attempt from a drug overdose could lead to permanent liver damage; jumping off a building or cliff, or shooting oneself could lead to paralysis and/or brain injury; "slitting your wrists"- cutting yourself, with the intent of suicide- will not only lead to massive blood loss, but severe scarring.
-Most people who commit suicide seek help in the four months prior to their death, and a significant amount still seek help in the month before their death.
-Just because someone does not have a mental illness doesn't rule out the possibility that they're having suicidal thoughts. Also, just because someone has a mental illness doesn't mean they're having suicidal thoughts.
-Feeling hopeless and alone is one of the most horrible, intense feelings that someone has suicidal thoughts may experience. If you feel this way, please know that you're not alone.
-Suicide may seem like the answer, because it's not- what happens afterwards? No matter how much pain you're in, please reconsider.
-Most people who are suicidal send out some sort of signals (whether or not they are obvious). If you are having suicidal thoughts, please, please get help. If you have a friend or family member who you think may be having suicidal thoughts, please talk to them. It can make a world of difference.
-People may not talk about depression or suicidal feelings they may be experiencing, but that doesn't mean they're not there. If you think someone you know is suffering, help them or get them help.
-"Talking", whether to a therapist/counselor/"shrink" or a loved one, won't necessarily cure the feelings, but it can help greatly.
-Survivors- the people "left behind" by the person who committed suicide- may feel almost as (if not just as) bad as their lost loved one. They might also feel abandoned, helpless, and rejected.
-Survivors, especially parents, often feel guilty- like it's their fault. Even if the person wrote a suicide note and said, "It's all your fault", it wasn't. You may have hurt the person, but you did not cause suicidal thoughts to come to their mind.

Suicide is a serious topic. But it can be prevented. If you think someone you know may be having suicidal thoughts, please pay attention for the following warning signs/ risk factors of suicide:
-Talking about suicide or a wish to die
-Preoccupation with death
-Statements about hopelessness, helplessness, or worthlessness- take statements like, "I can't go on" or "Sometimes I wish I was dead" seriously
-Social isolation (for example, people who live alone or lack close friends which could've given them the support they need)
-References to death and/or suicide in drawing, school essays, poems, etc.
-A sudden, dramatic, and unexplained change in behavior- for example, in emotions (from being sad to having more energy, which would signal the energy the person may have to act on suicidal thoughts)
-Saying "goodbye" to everyone, giving away possessions
-People who have a mental illness or behavioral disorders- for example, one of the following "depressive" disorders-
+Seasonal Affective Disorder
+Unipolar Depression
+Bipolar Depression
+Dysthymia
+Cyclothymia
+Atypical Depression
+Premenstrual Syndrome- that's right, PMS, or the outrageous mood
swings that occur before a female "gets her period", can cause depressive feelings and yes, suicidal thoughts.
+Depression often comes with anxiety disorders, including but not limited to-
-Panic Attacks/Panic Disorder
-Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
-Generalized Anxiety Disorder
-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
-Social Phobia
-Substance-abuse problems, for example alcoholism
-Previous suicide attempts
-History of suicide among family/friends
-Parasuicide, or non-lethal possibly suicidal actions- such as self-injury ("cutting" or "burning", for example) or non-lethal drug overdoses- known as a "cry for help"

If you are having suicidal thoughts, please remember that you are not alone. I know it may feel like it sometimes, but I promise you are not. You are loved, even if you don't realize it. Please, please, please, reach out for help if you need it- remember that "Reaching out is a sign of strength, not weakness." (Joel Madden).

The top 2o reasons to hold on...

20.If you're reading this, then there's some part of you, at least, that wants to hold on.

19. You are loved. I know you might not feel like it right now, but you are.

18. There is help out there. Sometimes you have to look for it, but it is there, I promise.

17. In some countries, suicide is illegal- meaning that, theoretically, you could be arrested for a failed suicide attempt.
16. In many religions, for example Christianity, suicide is a sin, and you will go to hell.
15. Just because you're feeling suicidal doesn't mean you have to act on that feeling (think about it- do you act on every one of your feelings?).
14. Suicide is not the answer because you won't feel relief. Your life will be over, and so your suffering would, theoretically, but you would only make those you love suffer more.
13. Just because you feel suicidal doesn't mean you have to act on your feelings. It is okay to have these feelings, but remember that is okay to know that they will pass.
12. There is no pain that can't be cured.
11. Feeling suicidal is a sign that you are emotional, that you can feel, and that you're sensitive. Which means you can help other people with their problems, and helping someone when they're contemplating suicide- saving there life- is probably the best thing you can do, as a single person, for someone.
10. One year is 365 days. Ten years is 3,650 days (give or take, depending on if there's a leap year), twenty years is 7,300 days, and fifty years is 18,250 days. That's a lot of time- and you can solve your problems. All problems are fixable.
9. God loves you and understands how you feel.
8. The worst feeling that someone who is contemplating suicide is going through is often the feeling of being alone. And you're not alone. Reach out to someone, whether it is a friend, a family member, a counselor, or any other person that can help you.
7. You may feel worthless, but everybody (yes, EVERYBODY) was put on this earth for a reason.
6. What happens after death? Does anyone really know? Or does nothing happen?
5. Life wasn't always like this. There was a time when it was happy, and that time will come again.
4. If you're contemplating suicide to "punish" someone you hate, or someone who hurt you, it won't do anything, except "punish" you. Soon, you will be just a memory to them.
3. You would be hurting your family, friends, and everyone close to you. Nobody can fully recover from the shock and trauma of the suicide of a loved one.
2. You'll miss out on so much- going to college, falling in love and getting married, starting a family, and fulfilling your dreams.
1. Once again, suicide is a very permanent answer to a very temporary problem. No matter how bad your life might seem now, it's not going to be that way forever. Life WILL get better.

Some quotations...

"Hang on, because everyone goes through it."

"Often, the test of courage is not to die, but to live."

"This, too, shall pass."

"You can survive."

"Don't be afraid to cry."

"You don't know what it is to be sad unless you've been happy."

"When it gets dark enough you can see the stars."

"Whatever you are going through, we will go through it with you."

"Reaching out is a sign of strength not weakness."

"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

I am not going to say that I have gone through EXACTLY what you're going through, because chances are, I haven't. But I am going to say that I have been depressed, and I've had suicidal thoughts, and I know what it feels like to want to die. I know it's scary- suicidal thoughts in themselves are traumatic. But you are not alone. There are people out there that feel the same way, and there are people out there who love you and are able to help.
Life's not easy, especially in the teenage years. Life is hard. But it's not always that way. I know it probably sounds cheesy, but you can't feel depressed until you have once been happy. Everyone has had some good moments in life. Let the little things- finding out about a really cool new band, buying a cool t shirt or a new pair of sneakers, getting a good grade in school, a bowl of ice cream, a sunny day- make you happy. Laugh. Smile.
It sounds stupid but I'm serious in saying that smiling can make you happy. I read it in a book somewhere, and I didn't believe it, but it's true. Just try it.
If you're feeling suicidal, depressed, self-destructive, or even just sad, do something. Keep yourself busy. Do something creative, write in a diary, listen to music, go out with your friends, or try a sport. Or try actually spending time on your schoolwork. Or play with a pet, or even with your little sister (it will make her happy, trust me). You could even attend religious services.
I think I've gone on long enough.
I made this. I did not steal it from somewhere. I spent many hours researching and compiling information, and then putting it all together. I have listed my resources below.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. Please share the link to this blog. Suicide is a tragic topic that people need to know about. Please don't lose hope. Help is out there. All suicides can be prevented.

Resources and organizations

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention or call 1-888-333-2377 (the call is toll-free)

Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul- On Tough Stuff

Crisis Intervention (24/7)- 1-800-999-9999

End All The Pain

International Association For Suicide Prevention

Problems of Life- Suicide

SAVE- Suicide Awareness Voices of Education

Suicide and Crisis Hotline- 1-800-784-2433

Suicide Crisis Hotline- 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)

Teens Fight Adult Corruption

The Bright Side

Songs about and against suicide (Wikipedia)

Suicide (Wikipedia)

Suicidal Ideation (Wikipedia)

Suicide Prevention Resource Center

To Write Love On Her Arms

WHO- Suicide Prevention

I hope this post has helped you in some way. If it has, please take the time to let me know (either comment on here, or send me an email at flipdude830@hotmail.com). I would love to hear from you.

TWLOHA Has Been Nominated For A Woodie!

2009-10-14T18:29:00.000-07:00

To Write Love On Her Arms Has Been Nominated for an MTVU Woodie Award- click the banner to vote!

List Of Good (and Not-So-Good) Ideas

2009-09-26T13:12:00.000-07:00

So I haven't blogged in... a really long time. But this blog has been begging to be written since I've been at college (yes! I've been at college for over two months! ah!). This blog is dedicated to things that are good- and not-so-good- ideas.

Good Ideas:
1. Getting a job. Seriously. If nothing else, you will make money... campus minimum wage is often higher than normal minimum wage (although not always). Plus, if you get a job in your field (if you're a science major, for example, and get a job in a lab), that'll be a super-plus for your resume. Even if you can't find an "interesting" job, it's still good to work. Consider: lifeguarding, tutoring, waitering/waitressing.
2. Studying. If you don't study, you won't get good grades. If you do study, you'll get good grades. If you get good grades, you'll get a job / get in to grad school.
3. Joining a few extracurricular activities. It's a great way to have fun, do something outside of classes, and meet people.
4. Making friends with someone who has a car. Even if there is public transportation where you are, it's nice to know someone with a car... especially if you need to get to the pharmacy to get a prescription and you're on crutches and don't want to take the aforementioned public transportation.
5. Joining the street team for To Write Love On Her Arms!

Not-So-Good Ideas:
1. Making Easy Mac without water. Come on now, it's college. Haven't you made Easy Mac before? Even if you haven't- don't you know how to read? It says on the box and on the pouch that you have to add water. Why is it so important? Because if you don't, it will smell like burnt popcorn, and it will set off the fire alarm, and everyone in your dorm will be annoyed with you.
2. Running through a fountain at midnight. Always a great idea, especially, when you're wearing socks and sneakers.
3. Staying up till 1:30am when you have to wake up at 6:20am. I know this from experience, unfortunately.
4. Tearing your ACL. I know it *sounds* like fun, but it isn't. Really.
5. Putting off your laundry. You WILL start to run out of clean socks.

Things I've Done This Month

2009-07-23T20:25:00.000-07:00

So I haven't blogged in over a month! Wow!

Since then, I have...

Purchased a new bathing suit.
Started work (I'm a lifeguard/swim instructor/bus counselor at a day camp).
Loved work.
Hated work.
Realized that while my job can drive me crazy, I'd MUCH rather be doing what I do than working in retail.
Realized that, as a 17-year-old with a high school diploma and lifeguarding certification as my only qualifications, I'm lucky to have a job that pays (even though it doesn't pay $500/hour).
Lost said previously mentioned bathing suit (it's gotta be somewhere!).
Gone to orientation.
Met my (temporary) advisor.
Found out that I am walking in to college with at least one semester's worth of credits (18?).
Registered for my classes... including Calculus 3.
Realized that Calculus 3 will probably be pretty hard.
Re-read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and started re-reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
Gotten a sty in my eye.
Watched way too much TV.
Had a sore throat and been terrified that I would lose my voice, and been equally terrified that I had swine flu (I didn't).
Been to Barnes & Noble too many times to count.
Bought a large number of magazines.
Read a ridiculous amount of magazine and newspaper articles about Michael Jackson.
Gone shopping for my dorm room.
Learned that the Quiet Game (with the promise of stickers and/or lollipops to the winners) works WONDERS when trying to tame young children.

That's about it. Maybe more later?

GRADUATION

2009-06-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

I was originally going to post a really long, detailed post about the day of my graduation, but I decided against it.

I graduated high school! Woo hoo!

BLINK-182

2009-06-07T13:21:00.000-07:00

SO BASICALLY I'M JUST WRITING THIS BLOG TO SAY... MY BLINK-182 TICKETS CAME IN THE MAIL! YEAH IT'S ALMOST A 3 HOUR DRIVE TO THE VENUE! I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT!

... okay, I'll say a little more. I love Blink-182, and I'm EXTREMELY excited that they're coming back. Of course, they're not in New Jersey/New York until I'm in Ohio (although they will be in Ohio when I am!). So instead, I'm driving almost 3 hours to see them in Pennsylvania. Panic at the Disco and Fall Out Boy will be there, too. The tickets weren't super cheap, and there was like a $14 "service charge" on them ($14? what, exactly, is that money used for? I have no idea. and that's $14 for "regular" shipping- it costs 44 cents to mail something, not $14. You want overnight shipping? That's even more money).

Yeah, I'm thinking the money and long drive will be worth it to go to this concert. I'm planning to spend the whole drive blasting Blink-182. I wasn't really in to Blink-182 years ago when they were super-popular (I liked their music, but I didn't really care about going to concerts). I sincerely hope there's a moshpit, cuz that'll be epic.

I know why Blink-182 broke up. Supposedly, Tom [Delonge] wanted to spend more time with his family, or something (although, if that's really the case, why did he start Angels & Airwaves? hm...). I'm kind of interested as to why they got back together, though. I've read several interviews of Tom since the break-up, and not so long ago (2007, maybe even 2008) he said he didn't plan to ever see Mark [Hoppus] and Travis [Barker] again, and that he's "moved on" from Blink-182. Don't get me wrong, I'm stoked to see Blink-182 back together, but I do have to wonder why.

OH MY GOD RYAN!

2009-05-31T18:10:00.000-07:00

On June 25, 2006, I went to a Yellowcard concert. One of the opening bands was Matchbook Romance. I decided to buy a Matchbook Romance t-shirt; the guy working at the merch stand asked me if I wanted to buy a CD, too. I bought the CD, and he gave me a free sticker (which I put on my guitar) and a poster (which I hung on my wall, right next to my desk). The poster has a picture of the band, and the Matchbook Romance logo.

Over a year later, in July 2007, I went to Power Chord Academy. On the first day, the counselors were introducing themselves, and I noticed that one of the counselors looked familiar. Then he introduced himself as Ryan Kienle, former bassist of the band Matchbook Romance. I realized that the reason he looked familiar was because his picture was on my wall, and I had been looking at his face every day for over a year. It turns out Matchbook Romance had broken up.

Just over two months ago, my good friend from Power Chord Academy informed me that Matchbook Romance was going on tour, and invited me to a concert in their hometown of Poughkeepsie, New York. I bought my ticket, and made a tshirt. We talked about the concert almost every day, and hoped to meet up with Ryan.

Yesterday, I drove up to meet my friend, and then we drove to the venue in Poughkeepsie. We were early, so we walked around and got drinks at a convenience store. It was sort of a "sketchy" area of Poughkeepsie.

The entrance to the venue was in an alley. We had a perfect view of the bands loading equipment into the venue. We saw some cute guys, some really cute guys, and some not-so-cute guys.

Eventually, we got in line. Doors were supposed to open at 5pm. We had been waiting for awhile, when some guy announced that Just Surrender (one of the bands that would be playing) was starting to film their new music video that night. So everyone gets in a straight line, and we all go crazy as some guy runs down past us, filming the whole thing.

We got in to the venue a little after 6. It's a small venue. Of course, my friend and I wanted to be up close. So we stood right up against the barrier. Right next to us was a guy wearing a wristband signifying that he was older than 21s, who appeared to have taken advantage of the beverages at the bar available only to those that are of age. He was kind of creeping us out, so eventually, we moved.

The first band was The Hill Valley. They were okay. Then there was Searching for Skylines, and they were awesome! Their keyboard player was barefoot on stage, which was kind of weird. But they put on a great show.

After that was Show Me The Skyline. Show Me The Skyline was AMAZING. After their set was done, my friend and I went to their merch stand to buy a tshirt and CD. We saw their bassist and lead singer, and got the lead singer to sign our tshirts (!!!). Yeah, it was awesome.

Next was Crush the Everlasting. They were good- not as good as Searching for Skylines or Show Me The Skyline, but better than The Hill Valley.

After that came Just Surrender. I hadn't heard any of their music before, but they were good. A mosh pit formed, and my friend and I were at the back. We didn't get thrown around, but the people that were getting thrown around did get thrown at us. It was somewhat painful; a few times, people slammed into me so hard (I was standing with my back against a barrier) that I felt like I couldn't breathe momentarily. I got continually stepped on by god knows how many people.

Finally Matchbook Romance came on. Yeah, my friend and I screamed when we saw Ryan. Matchbook Romance was amazing live- possibly better than the last time I saw them. The mosh pit during Matchbook Romance was less violent. Also, I started getting into self-preservation- rather than just stand there, I shoved people around when they got too close (although I myself didn't actually get shoved around).

After Matchbook Romance was done, my friend and I waited outside of the venue- we wanted to say hi to Ryan and see if he remembered us. We waited for awhile and didn't see him, but the drummer from Crush the Everlasting said he liked my hoodie. We saw guys from the other bands in the show, and even one of the other members of Matchbook Romance, but we were waiting for a long time before we finally saw Ryan.

Finally, we saw him. He was cursing a lot, and appeared to have taken advantage of the bar- one of the other musicians asked him if he had consumed a certain beverage often made in Mexico, and he said, "Yes, I did!".

Anyway. Then my friend and I talked to Ryan for a few minutes. He did remember us, and it was good to see him again.

When we got in the car after midnight, I was still feeling the effects of that minute amount of Red Bull. When we got home and I got in to my pajamas at 1:30am, I was still feeling it. Then, at 1:35, while brushing my teeth... I crashed. I was tired and went to bed.

All in all, I had an awesome time.

Fire

2009-05-28T14:19:00.001-07:00

Fire is pretty cool... or should I say, hot. Haha, I crack myself up.

I've always thought fire was kind of cool- scary, but amazing.

When I was in chemistry, my favorite chapter in the book was the one where they talked about flames, and how different chemicals produce different colored flames. I thought it was pretty cool. Once, my teacher chased around a bubble with a burning candle (it was a small votive-type candle, attached to a meter stick). Another time, he poured alcohol onto the tables (they're "lab" tables, I think made of stone or something) and then lit the alcohol, which produced spectacular, (approximately) 1.5 foot tall flames (which is pretty spectacular in a classroom setting, about 5 feet from where you're sitting). One of our labs involved heating... um... something?- and so each lab group had to light a match so the flask of... something... could be heated. For some reason, I was designated to light the match. The first time I tried, it didn't light. Then, when it did light, I was so scared that I dropped it onto the table (at least I didn't drop it onto my foot).

You know how sometimes, the bathroom starts to smell- well, like a bathroom? Well, once, one of the bathrooms in my house started to smell like that. There was no air freshener, so my mom suggested I use a match. I lit a match, and then dropped it into the garbage can. Um, apparently there was some lint (this particular bathroom is right next to the washer and dryer) in there, and apparently, lint is flammable. Thank god there was a sink there- I dumped some water on it and it was fine.

One of the coolest shows ever, Time Warp, showed a grease fire in slow motion. It was pretty darn scary, but in slow motion, it looked pretty cool. Another really cool show, Mythbusters, lit a million match heads (yes, a million) on fire. It looked awesome. Actually, come to think of it, pretty much every myth shown on Mythbusters involves fire.

Things I've Learned Recently- Part 3

2009-05-20T14:29:00.000-07:00

Some of you may remember my posts entitled "Things I've Learned Recently" and "Things I've Learned Recently- Part 2". In that same genre, here's the third in the series of "Things I've Learned Recently".

1. Kneeling for any extended length of time WILL cause your knee to be sore for a day or two afterwards. Especially if you've had a menisectomy. So far, for my senior project (volunteering at Susan G. Komen For The Cure) I've done a variety of things. One of these was taking inventory of supplies. When taking inventory, I was kneeling on a cement floor for about an hour. Three years ago, I had a menisectomy (I tore the meniscus- cartilage- in my right knee; instead of repairing it, the surgeons just removed the torn bit). But now, since I don't have that bit of "padding", my knee gets sore when I kneel on cement.

2. Carrying 1 brochure is nothing. Carrying 100 brochures is still pretty easy. Carrying 2500 brochures is basically impossible. On Monday, I had to count and sort brochures; there were bins that (I'm assuming) held about 2500 brochures. That's a lot.

3. In the same thread, 1 key chain doesn't take up a lot of space; 150 key chains will fill up an entire bag; 500 will fill up 3 boxes.

4. Apparently, Excel has a function that automatically sorts, counts, and adds data. Who knew? Well, when I was spending hours trying to count by hand, I didn't. I've worked with 2 spreadsheets of over 8000 rows, and had to separate them in to categories, then count the number in each category.

5. Being done with all of your high school classes forever is exciting. The idea of going off to college in just a few months is even more exciting.

6. If you are running low on contact solution, do not automatically assume that you will have enough for tonight and tomorrow morning. You might not. I ran out of contact solution when I was in the hotel in the Pittsburgh airport, and then again last night.

7. If you haven't looked at your windowsill lately, there is a good chance that some pretty nasty stuff will have built up. I looked at my windowsill last week, and it was... covered in dirt. There might've been some other stuff, too. I cleaned it.

8. Moshi pillows make the perfect knee rest. I say that because, as I am writing this block, I have my right knee resting on one. Normally, my knees are a bit hyperextended. When they're sore (like my right one is now) I like to rest them on something. Regular pillows are an awkward shape. These moshi pillows (the "cylyndrical" ones) are the perfect shape to rest your knee on. My knee isn't hyperextended; but unlike couch pillows, which are often stiff, it's soft and sort of... moldable? Moshi pillows are also the perfect laptop rest. My laptop is (obviously) hard; the pink, furry, circular moshi pillow is much more comfortable. It's also nice for when my laptop gets really hot.

9. Sleep is good. Lots of sleep is better.

10. Broccoli nuggets might sound gross, but they're actually really yummy.

21st Century Breakdown

2009-05-10T09:23:00.000-07:00

If you're not already aware of it, then you are now: on May 15, Green Day will be releasing their next album, 21st Century Breakdown. Here's the cover:

The album hasn't technically been released yet, but you can listen to the whole thing on MTV's The Leak here (http://www.mtv.com/music/the_leak/green_day/21st_century_breakdown/#).

American Idiot was definitely a departure from anything Green Day had done before. It was very political, and a lot of fans turned on the band- saying that Green Day sold out, and that American Idiot was a horrible album. Personally, I don't agree. I liked American Idiot, but I liked the older Green Day, too. American Idiot is a rock opera, and it's very political. Musically, it was quite a change from Warning- the instrumentals were layered, and much more complex. Lyrically, it was more mature, and told a story throughout the whole album.

I was pretty excited to hear 21st Century Breakdown. I think it's a good album. Rolling Stone gave it 4.5 stars. If you're expecting to hear Warning, Nimrod, or Dookie, you'll be disappointed. But if you're a little more open-minded, you might enjoy it. 21st Century Breakdown is also a "rock opera", but it's not the sequel to American Idiot. It's somewhat political, but (to me, at least) it feels more personal and emotional than American Idiot did, and less-self-indulgent. It follows the story of Christian and Gloria- possibly the couple we see represented on the album's cover (although the artwork was not actually commissioned by Green Day for the album- it seems to fit perfectly, though). American Idiot had 2 songs ("Jesus of Suburbia" and "Homecoming") that were over 9 minutes; 21st Century Breakdown has more tracks (18 vs. 13), but only 2 ("21st Century Breakdown" and "21 Guns") are over 5 minutes.

The instrumentals are more powerful and resonant than the pre-American Idiot albums, if that makes sense. There's also more use of piano ("21st Century Breakdown"), and I think it works really well. Billie Joe Armstrong is 37 years old now, and Green Day has definitely grown up. Some of the songs are repetitive, and catchy ("Know Your Enemy", "Before the Lobotomy", "Christian's Inferno"). My favorite song is probably "21 Guns".

21st Century Breakdown is a good album because it's definitely not Dookie 2, or Nimrod 2, or Warning 2, or American Idiot 2- it's its own album. It's mature, but it definitely recalls older Green Day. I love that it's a rock opera/concept album. The songs really tie together quite well.

In summary: 21st Century Breakdown rocks. Check it out. If you're a Green Day fan that didn't like American Idiot, you might be pleasantly surprised. If you're not a Green Day fan, you might also be pleasantly surprised. If you're a Green Day fan, you might be pleasantly surprised. If you've never even heard of Green Day, you might be pleasantly surprised.

Today

2009-05-07T12:44:00.000-07:00

So today, I planned to wake up at 9:30am. I would have to leave my house at about 11am to get to school at 11:30am. My only class of the day (AP Physics) wouldn't start till 1pm, so why was I planning to get there early? So I could dissect things!

See, last week, I was talking with a friend of mine in my Reserach & Experimental Design class about majors in college, and she said she wanted to major in biology and be pre-med. I said that I want to major in biomedical engineering and also be pre-med. Somehow it came up that I had never dissected anything before (although the 9th grade biology classes at my high school- a private school- dissect frogs, sheep hearts, and cow eyes, I took biology as an 8th grade, at my local public high school, and was conveniently absent the day they were dissecting worms; the smell of formaldehyde also made me feel sick). So the teacher asked if I wanted to dissect something- I said sure. So yesterday, I began to dissect a grasshopper. I did it under a fume hood, so it didn't actually smell too bad, and I think the smell was most of what made me think of dissection as "ew!" before. It was definitely kind of weird looking at a dead grasshopper under a miscroscope, but it was actually pretty cool.

Anyway. Back to today.

Thankfully I woke up at 8:30am, because it turns out I had a dentist appointment at 9. I got dressed, quickly ate breakfast, and brushed (and flossed!) my teeth, then headed out the door. My dentist's office is on a one way street. So I drove down the street and turned into the parking lot. There were no spaces. Literally zero. I left the parking lot, and turned my car around so I could get into a spot. I tried to parallel park, but I didn't really succeed- that is, the car wasn't quite "parallel" to the curb. After several tries, I figured it was good enough, and got out of the car.

My dentist is a pediatric dentist, so the receptionist was surprised that I came there alone. I'm 17, and I have a car, so why wouldn't I come alone? What's cool about my dentist's office is that there are several small flat-screen TVs installed in the ceiling- today, Ice Age 2 was on. The dental hygeneist, after inspecting my teeth, told me that, except for one possible cavity (which turned out not to be a cavity after all- thank god), my teeth looked "great". Instead of that foaming fluoride stuff (you know- they put a tray of this flavored foam in your mouth, leave it there for a few minutes, and then you can't eat or drink for an hour or so?), they used a paint-on fluoride. I was allowed to eat and drink right after, but I had to avoid anything crunchy or hard (carrots, chips, pretzels) and any really hot liquids (tea, coffee, hot chocolate, soup). I can feel a sticky residue on my teeth, but it's not really visible. After my apointment was done, I went home (getting out of the parking spot was much easier than getting in).

I had some time to read at home (currently, I'm reading Love, Stargirl- it's awesome). Then, I went off to school. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to continue the dissection today, as my teacher was busy (something came up- totally understandable). So, I read, and played Sudoku on my iPod touch (it was a free app, and could keep me entertained for hours, seriously).

At 1:00pm, I went to my AP Physics class, where we went over old AP multiple choice questions. When I was walking down to my car, it started raining. Hard. And thundering. I love thunderstorms in warm weather (okay, it was only about 65 degrees, but still...). I don't really know why. There's just something comforting about it.

Books and Authors I Like

2009-05-03T09:24:00.000-07:00

So magazines are great, but books are pretty cool, too. Anyone who tells you they don't read books is either a liar or an idiot. Reading is cool, and it makes you smarter.

I thought I'd write a blog about some of my favorite authors and books.

Catcher in the Rye- by J.D. Salinger- possibly (easily) the best book I have ever read for school. If you haven't read it, you should.

Midnighters 1: The Secret Hour, Midnighters 2: Touching Darkness, Midnighters 3: Blue Noon; So Yesterday; Uglies, Pretties, Specials, Extras; Peeps, The Last Days- all by Scott Westerfeld- Scott Westerfeld writes science fiction, but in a totally non-dorky way. I know some of you might think all science fiction is dorky, but this isn't Star Trek (not that there's anything wrong with Star Trek). These books are all geared towards teens. The Midnighters series is about a group of kids who, because they were born at midnight, can live in this special, "secret", 25th hour of the day. So Yesterday is really good because it makes you question everything you know about what is "cool". Uglies, Pretties, and Specials describe a post-apocalyptic society in which money doesn't really exist, and everyone when they turn 16, gets an operation that makes them "pretty"; Extras, the "sequel" to the series, is sort of a like a post-post-apocalyptic society. Peeps revolves around a parasite that turns people into cannibals and makes them hate everything they used to love. The Last Days is, like Extras is to the Uglies series, a sort of companion sequel to Peeps.

The Harry Potter Series- by J.K. Rowling- anyone who knows anything about me knows that I love the Harry Potter series. Harry Potter describes kids that live in a fantasy world where brooms fly and animals and inanimate objects can talk, which makes it an exciting escape from everyday life. But the characters go through a lot of the same problems that real kids go through- love, friendship, difficult teachers and challenging courses- which makes it something I can relate to. Seriously, I've read lots of awesome books, but there's something about Harry Potter that makes it just amazingly extra-awesome. Harry can play Quidditch, and Hagrid may be half-giant, but their personalities make them seem so real to me.

Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn- by Stephenie Meyer- oh, come on. You know you love the Twilight series. I loved it, too (remember my summary?). Honestly, I could've written Twilight. Well, maybe I couldn't. I don't think I ever would've thought of sparkly vampires.

Wringer; Loser; Stargirl, Love, Stargirl- all by Jerry Spinelli- Jerry Spinelli is a really cool author. Loser is written in third person, and there's a bit of a disconnect between the narrator and the main character, but it's totally cool. Stargirl is totally real-life, but at the same time, the book's title character, Stargirl, is so out-of-this world.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, The Second Summer of the Sisterhood, Girls in Pants, Forever in Blue- all by Ann Brashares- about a group of friends who find a pair of jeans that magically fit them all. It's kind of dopey, but at the same time, something every girl can relate to.

If I Stay- by Gayle Forman- Mia is a talented musician, with many wonderful choices, until suddenly, everything changes one winter morning. Only one choice is left. If I Stay is really sad, but beautiful, too. If you enjoyed Lovely Bones, you should really check out If I Stay.

***EDIT- I almost forgot...***

The Chronicles of Narnia series- by C.S. Lewis- another fantasy series. Like Harry Potter, there are 7 books in the Narnia series (maybe there's some magical thing about the number 7?). What's cool about Narnia is that it tells you the stories of so many different characters, rather than focusing on (primarily) one character's storyline (like in Harry Potter), so you really get a picture of the whole universe. I read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe first, even though, chronologically, it's the second in the series (though the first one published). The Narnia books were some of favorites when I was younger (before I read Harry Potter), and I think they will definitely endure the test of time.

******EDIT2- I just realized I have over 30 "favorite books". Wow.******

Magazines

2009-04-29T14:16:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make: I love magazines. I think they're one of the greatest things ever. They're usually cheaper than a book (except for Rolling Stone and Mad, they're usually under $5). They're also available pretty much everywhere- the mall, the drugstore, the waiting room at the doctor's awesome. They're colorful (yay!), and make good room decorations.

I buy a lot of magazines. If I go in to a store that has magazines for sale, and I have money, there's a very high chance that I'll buy one or more magazines. It's kind of a waste of money, but I like reading mindless things. It's kind of fun. I love reading dumb articles about random celebrities.

Now, you should know that there are five main categories of magazines that I am interested in.

The first is "teeny-bopper" magazines, generally filled with pictures of and shallow articles about whoever is most interesting to the "tween" crowd. This includes M, Twist, Tiger Beat, Bop, Twist, J-14, Wow!, AstroGirl, Teen, and QuizFest. Some of them are pretty entertaining. They generally come with a few free posters inside, ranging anywhere from 1 sheet across, to 2 by 2 sheets, or, in the case of the Jesse McCartney poster I have on my wall from a few years ago, 4 by 4 sheets (that's almost 3 feet across by almost 4 feet tall, folks). However, when putting up posters, I am often put in a dilemma- most of these posters are double-sided, and it can be hard to decide which side to put up on my wall- in the issue of M that I purchased just today, there's a poster with Robert Pattinson on one side and Taylor Lautner on the other; and another poster with the Jonas Brothers on one side and Miley Cyrus (and a puppy!) on the other. AstroGirl is interesting; it focuses on astrology, and- uh, I guess how it relates to tween girls? It's basically a magazine full of various horoscopes (like, "What your birthday/middle initial/favorite color says about you!"). QuizFest is basically a magazine entirely full of quizzes- like "What type of guy would you fall for?", "What flavor of ice cream best suits your personality?", or "What new trend should you buy?"

The second category of magazines I am interested in are those geared towards teenage girls (like myself)- these include Seventeen, CosmoGirl!, Teen Vogue, Elle Girl, and (formerly) Teen People. These magazines usually have a wide variety of articles- ranging fashion and make-up and hair tips; advice (on how to deal with boys, mean girls, or parents that don't agree with you). Seventeen also has a different workout plan in every issue (focusing on something different each time- cardio, stretching, leg strength, upper body strength, core/back strength), which is pretty cool. I like these magazines because they have a variety of articles geared towards girls my age.

I also enjoy music magazines- Rolling Stone, AP, Spin. Rolling Stone is pretty awesome- it covers a large variety of artists, which is cool. My 3 favorite Rolling Stone covers are the cover from the 1000th issue, the cover from the 40 year anniversary issue (it was silver and red and sparkly! omg!), and the cover with Fall Out Boy and a shirtless Pete Wentz on the front. Rolling Stone is cool, but it's also pretty expensive for a magazine- like $5 an issue. I also like AP, which seems to cater slightly more towards the music I listen to (without being too "restrictive"). They also have pretty cool covers, and have a lot of good articles. Spin is pretty cool, too, except they focus more on the "alternative/indie" stuff, and while I have nothing against that, sometimes the articles are a little snobby- "alternative/indie is SOOO much better than mainstream".

Another enjoyable genre of magazines is celebrity gossip magazines- People, Life & Style, Us Weekly. They range in quality, but I'd have to say my favorite is People; it's also very widely available (think about it- when was the last time you saw a magazine stand that DIDN'T have the latest issue of People?).

Then there are the magazines that make me feel smart- Scientific American, Popular Science, Discovery, The New York Times Magazine. Scientific American has a lot of articles about current issues and new research in science; Popular Science has a lot of articles about the future, and new ideas about products and scientific things that don't exist yet. A lot of The New York Times Magazine is kind of boring, but the occasional articles on "mystery diagnosis", The Ethicist, and the "Lives" section are all pretty cool. When I read these magazines, even if I don't understand 100% of the article I'm reading, it makes me feel smart.

I would also like to add that I really, really enjoy the Weekly World News, which was a tabloid (I believe it was cancelled. Even when it was still in circulation, it was almost impossible to find- I only ever found it in Long Beach Island and in Gettysburg). Next to Weekly World News (which, by the way, is "the world's only reliable news source"), every other tabloid seems like The New York Times.

Decision!

2009-04-25T18:58:00.000-07:00

So I applied to 11 colleges in all...

1. MIT- I got deferred and then rejected from MIT, but that's probably a good thing. It just sounds so intense. Plus I'd probably die in the winter.

2. Caltech- Again, I got deferred and then rejected. Again, probably a good thing, considering how supposedly intense it is. Caltech is also really small- less than 1000 undergraduates.

3. Pomona- I got waitlisted at Pomona. I was a little upset, but I got in to 8 of the 11 schools I applied to- which, if you ask me, isn't too bad.

4. Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology- The first college I got in to was Rose-Hulman. I cannot even explain how excited I was that I actually got in to a college- it made the rest of the process that much easier! Rose-Hulman seems like a pretty cool place, but I decided against it because the focus is just so narrow (although they did offer me an awesome scholarship!). It's also in Indiana, and not really in a city.

5. Rutgers University- Rutgers was the second college I got in to. I pretty much only applied because my parents suggested I apply (there's also no essay). Rutgers would be inexpensive because it's instate, but I decided against it because it's instate. New Jersey isn't that big, and I want to go far away.

6. University of Southern California- USC is an awesome school. What I thought was cool about USC was that although it's a pretty big university, my major (at USC- astronautical engineering) would have less than 70 people in it. USC has something like 150 majors and almost as many minors. You can major (or minor) in practically anything. It's also in Los Angeles. And the "Trojan Family" was definitely a big draw. But I ended up deciding against USC because it didn't seem like a place where I would fit in... too much emphasis on football, and partying.

7. Wash U in St. Louis- I was totally excited to get in to Wash U- I wasn't really expecting to get in. I visited, and the people seemed really friendly and welcoming. However, it would be expensive, and while it's an awesome place, I ended up not deciding to go there because something didn't feel right. Plus, I had no financial aid at Wash U, so it would be expensive.

8. Lehigh University- What I originally liked about Lehigh was the size, and the course offerings in engineering. They also have this thing called IPD (Integrated Product Development), where engineering, business, and arts/sciences students come to together to design products (I looked on the website, and there were some cool ones- like a new kind of lacrosse stick, and an aquarium filter that's completely silent). I also got a scholarship, which was cool, and (like two weeks before I officially got in) was contacted by and later had a phone conversation with a mechanical engineering professor from Lehigh (which was totally awesome, by the way). However, I decided against Lehigh because it's too close (about an hour away) and it felt really "preppy".

9. Carnegie Mellon University- Initially, CMU was my first choice. I almost applied ED2, but I didn't. I was, however, pretty excited to get in and visit. CMU offers a lot of cool classes, like Physics of Musical Sound and Engineering the Materials of the Future. I also love how into the Scottish heritage they are- their marching band wears kilts, the mascot is a Scotty dog, the official school color is tartan (plaid), and they offer a major (in the music school) in bagpipe. However, when I visited, I didn't really like the people I met, and it didn't seem like a place where I would really be happy. I also didn't like the location, and something about the layout of the campus felt weird. One of the deciding factors for me against CMU was that if I wanted to major in Biomedical Engineering, I could only do it as a double major with another engineering discipline, and I didn't really like that I guess. They also offered me no financial aid, meaning I'd be paying full price.

10. Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute- I'll be honest, I didn't really like RPI when I visited. It's cold, first of all. It's also in the middle of nowhere (Troy, New York is hardly exciting- and not necessarily a very "nice" area). But they do have a lot of interesting course offerings, and they offered me a scholarship, which was pretty cool. I ended up not choosing RPI primarily because I hated the location, and it felt like I'd be really miserable there.

*I would like to add that the above 10 schools are all awesome schools. I respect all of them, and they are ALL fine institutions. For any seniors who might be looking at this who are considering any of these colleges, they are all awesome places (even though I didn't decide to go to any of them), so don't let the fact that I'm not going there change YOUR mind or affect YOUR decision. For anyone who's not yet a senior, don't let the fact that I didn't choose to attend a college change your mind about applying- apply away!

11. Case Western Reserve University- Initially, I didn't know much about Case Western, except that it was in Ohio (Cleveland, to be specific), and it was good for Biomedical Engineering. There was also no supplemental essay on the application, which was awesome. Once I got in (and found out that they were offering me a bigger scholarship than any other college I got in to), I started reading more about it, and it sounded like a pretty cool place. The admissions are "open-door" with regard to majors, which means that basically, now that I'm admitted to the university, I could decide to major in anything, and if it wasn't engineering- let's say I decide I want to major in Chemistry- there's no complicated "internal transfer" process. I visited this weekend, and really liked it. It's definitely a campus, but it's not isolated, which I liked. There's stuff to do within walking distance (museums and botanical gardens, for example), but there's public transportation that takes you to, for example, the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. I stayed in a sorority house- I wasn't sure about Greek life at first, but it seems like it'd be a really cool thing at Case. My host is a member of a women in engineering sorority (I'm pretty sure it is a social sorority, not a professional sorority), which is totally awesome. She says she wasn't sure about Greek life at first, but her RA freshman year encouraged her to rush- and she's glad she did. She says it's a really great way to meet people, and it seems like it definitely is. There's also a lot of cool organizations on campus- a capella groups, religious organizations, and a cheese club, for example. Everyone at Case is smart and works hard, but they know how to have fun, too (but it's definitely not a party school)- and (in the words of a current student at Case), "the people that are studying all the time, they want to be studying all the time." Case is also exactly the size I want in a college- not too big, not too small. All in all, Case Western Reserve University is definitely my favorite of the colleges I got in to (the fact that I have a scholarship there is just icing on the cake!)- I sent in my deposit yesterday.

The moral of the story is do well in school and study for the SAT, SAT2s, and ACT. Study. Really. It's not a bad thing. You will thank yourself. Studying and doing my homework (well, most of the time) is how I got in to all these colleges and got several signficiant merit-based scholarships.

Carnegie Mellon; The Pittsburgh Airport

2009-04-22T13:43:00.000-07:00

On Monday, I flew from New Jersey to Pittsburgh, to visit Carnegie Mellon. I had no problems getting through security, and my flight was on time. It took me a few minutes to figure out where the shuttle to campus would be, but eventually I got it.

When I got to Carnegie Mellon, I dropped my bags in the admissions office, and then went to an engineering class. I thought the professor seemed pretty interesting, but the other students in the class just looked bored. I met my host and the other girl she was hosting, and we hung out in the dorm for a few hours before going to dinner. Yesterday, I went to information sessions for engineering and science and went to a psychology class (and learned that psychology doesn't interest me).

Then...
4:00pm- I left campus on the shuttle to the airport.
5:00pm- I got to the airport at 5:00pm. I checked in, and, before I went through security, checked the list of departures, and saw that my flight was delayed. I figured it would probably only be an hour or so late, but called my mom to let her know. I stopped to buy something to eat (a slice of mushroom pizza from Sbarro- yum).
5:35pm- I got to the gate. Moments after I sat down, one of the airport employees announces that my flight (which was supposed to leave at 6:30pm) is now delayed until 10pm. The flight (to New Jersey) that was supposed to leave at 3:20pm hadn't even left yet. After I'm done eating, I start to read Eclipse/Twilight 3.
6:45pm- The flight that was supposed to leave at 3:20pm boards. Once they're all on board, I ask an employee if she knew why the flights were being delayed. She says there was bad weather in New Jersey, which caused all of the arriving flights (arriving to NJ) to become delayed. Apparently, the plane that I would be flying on was the one I could see out the window from where I was sitting (I guess there were just too many other flights that were going in).
7:3opm- I talked to my mom (on the phone). She was surprised at how delayed my flight was, and said I should keep checking with the employees to see if it might leave earlier than expected. I checked; still 10pm estimated departure time. There's a Ben & Jerry's in the "food court", so I got a scoop of Cherry Garcia (my favorite).
8:00pm- Still 10pm estimated departure time. I called my mom to check in, and she said that according to the airline's website, my flight was now getting in at 10:30pm, but according to the employees, that was incorrect. I have two books, an iPod touch (and free WiFi!), a notebook, and a cellphone, but I'm pretty antsy. I've been sitting in the same seat for a few hours now.
9:20pm- The employee announces over the loudspeaker that it's time to begin boarding.
9:30pm- I gate-check my duffle bag, and bring my messenger bag onto the plane with me. I get settled in my seat (there was nobody next to me, which was nice), and read Twilight 3. The flight attendant says we won't be moving for awhile.
10:00pm- The plane moves! We get to the runway, and we start going kinda fast, but we don't take off. The flight has been pushed back... again. So I hang out on the plane, reading and conversing with other passengers.
10:30pm- The captain tells us (the passengers) that he'll have an update for us on when we'll be leaving in an hour, but he doesn't know yet what time we'll actually be leaving. After a few minutes of reading (and a phone call to my mom to let her know what was going on), I asked the flight attendant if there was a possibility that we would get pushed back even further at 11:30. She said it was a possibility.
11:30pm- The captain announces that there are 30 or 40 planes "ahead" of us (that is, 30 or 40 planes that need to fly to the same airport we're supposed to be flying to), so our flight has been cancelled. The plane is driven back to the gate, and we get off. I call my mom, and she instructs me to book a flight for the next day (4/22- today), and to see if I can get a hotel voucher so I have somewhere to sleep.
11:45pm- The airport employee announces that there is another flight that is going to Texas that needs to be boarded before she can help any of us, so we all wait in line. My feet are tired, and I want to sit down, but I also don't want to lose my place in the line.
12:00am- The flight to Texas starts boarding. Once they're all on board, the employee starts helping people book flights and gives them information about hotels.
12:30am- I get to the front of the line. The employee books me a seat on the 8:30am flight, and prints me a boarding pass (I got a window seat- yay!). I explain my situation (I'm a minor traveling alone; I don't have a credit card) and ask where the nearest hotel is, and if I can get a voucher for it. She says there is a hotel at the airport, and they don't normally give hotel vouchers when it's a weather problem (usually only if it's a problem with the aircraft), but tells me to wait for her to finish booking flights for everyone else so they can figure something out.
1:00am- The employee is done booking everyone else's flights. I explain my situation again, and she gives me a hotel voucher. Then, she directs me to the hotel. The hotel is literally attached to the airport; I didn't even have to go outside. I check in to the hotel and go to my room, where I get ready for bed.
1:30am- I set two alarms (in addition to a wake-up call) to make sure I got up, and went to sleep.

(Note- I do realize that I kind of... switched from past to present tense. Whatever.)

Why You Should Be A Vegetarian

2009-04-19T08:09:00.000-07:00

So I gave up eating red meat in May 2005, and I became fully vegetarian (gave up poultry and fish) in October 2006. I think you should become a vegetarian, too, and here's why:

1. It's better for the environment. One, livestock produce HUGE amounts of methane, which is a pollutant. Two, it requires less land to produce equivalent amounts of soy (or other vegetable) than beef (or pork, chicken, etc.)- remember that those cows have to eat, too, and they eat a lot. Three, it requires less energy to produce equivalent amounts of vegetables than meat- something like 10 times the amount of energy required to produce 1 pound of soybeans is required to produce 1 pound of beef. Four, it requires less water. Also, because eating vegetarian uses so many fewer resources (land, energy, water), if everyone cut back on their consumption of meat, we could seriously grow enough food to combat world hunger. Being a vegetarian is sustainable. Eating meat is not.

2. It's better for your body. Humans aren't naturally designed to be carnivores. Also, a vegetarian diet will be lower in cholesterol (a vegan diet will have something like zero cholesterol). You can get plenty of protein without eating meat- in fact, most people get too much protein, believe it or not. Vegetarians and vegans also eat more fiber- most people don't get enough fiber. Also, you have a lower chance of getting food poisoning (while it is possible for vegetables to get contaminated, when was the last time you heard of someone getting sick from undercooked brocolli?).

3. It's better for your conscience. What I mean is that eating meat is wrong. A vegetarian saves the lives of about 90 animals per year. That's not insignificant, if you ask me. Animals are also abused and treated horribly- I won't go in to the details here, but check out the "Meet your Meat" video, or have a look around GoVeg or ChooseVeg, and you might understand why I feel the way I do.

4. Tons of awesome people are vegetarian- including (but not limited to) Alicia Silverstone, Andy Hurley, Avril Lavigne, Ben Franklin, Benji Madden, Billie Joe Armstrong, Billy Idol, Billy Martin, Bob Dylan, Bob Marley, Brad Pitt, Carlos Santana, Carrie Underwood, Charles Darwin, Coretta Scott King, Davey Havok, the members of Good Riddance, Henry David Thoreau, Hitler (supposedly), Jane Goodall, Jeff Beck, Joaquin Phoenix, Joel Madden, Lenny Kravitz, Leonardo daVinci, Lisa Edelstein, Liv Tyler, Moby, Morrissey, Mr. Rogers, Natalie Portman, Olivia Newton John, Omar Epps, Orlando Bloom, Pamela Anderson, Paul McCartney, Pete Wentz, Pink, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Ruben Studdard, Sir Isaac Newton, Susan B. Anthony, Thomas Edison, Travis Barker (formerly- supposedly he started eating meat again when he was told it would help speed is recovery after he was severely burned in a plane crash last September), Vincent Van Gogh, Weird Al Yankovic, and yours truly. Check out Peta2 for some videos and interviews with some of these people on why they're vegetarian.

There are also tons of yummy vegetarian foods. Everything from Morningstar Farms is yummy, but I'm a big fan of the Maple Sausage Patties, the "Chik Patties", and the corndogs (note- everything from Morningstar Farms is vegetarian, but most of their products do contain eggs and/or milk). Amy's is another good vegetarian brand- I'm a huge fan of their pesto pizza, and Indian dishes (note- Amy's does not use eggs, but some of their products have milk). Lots of snack foods are vegetarian (but beware of anything with gelatin- i.e. Jello, Junior Mints, marshmallows- or rennet- i.e. many cheeses). Vegetables are also yummy. Supposedly, they're pretty healthy and good for you, too. Oh, and don't beware tofu- when cooked right (press the water out before hand, and avoid microwaving it if possible), it's not only delicious, but good for you, too.

How do you become a vegetarian? Well, there are a few ways people do it.

1. Give up all meat right away. This would be a hard transition, but you're pretty likely to stick with it (less likely to go back).

2. Give up red meat first, then poultry, then fish. This is what I did (mostly- I gave up poultry and fish at the same time). It worked well for me.

3. Decrease your consumption of meat. For example, let's say you eat meat (on average) twice a day. You might start by eating meat only once a day, then every other day, then twice a week, then once a week, then never. This works well for some people, but if you're not fully committed, it might be hard, since you might find yourself "cheating".

Whichever way you choose, I do think you should become a vegetarian. By being a vegetarian, not only will you be more awesome, you'll be helping the environment (vegetables use less resources and produce less waste), the animals (a vegetarian saves the lives of about 90 animals per year), and yourself (a vegetarian diet is, arguably, better for you).

/preach

IB Visual Arts... done!

2009-04-15T17:49:00.000-07:00

So I've already blogged about IB Art, possibly more than once, but guess what- I won't be blogging about it anymore, because guess why- I'm done with IB Art.

Yeah. As amazing/awesome as that sounds, it's kind of sad in a way. I put a lot of effort into it, and spent a LOT of time doing art. When I was putting my work out for the exam, it completely covered three tables and two benches, plus I had a ton of stuff laid out on the ground, plus I had several pieces on the wall, and that's not even counting my photographs (I didn't spread those out).

The actual IB Visual Arts HL exam consists of 2 parts:

1. Candidate Record Book (CRB)- the CRB consists of a "portfolio" (where you include 4x6 pictures of 12-15 of your strongest pieces, plus 2 pictures of your "body" of work; for me, one of the hardest things was actually coming up with titles for everything... not as easy as it sounds!), a "candidate statement" (~300 words; basically an artist's statement), and 25-30 pages photocopied from the Investigative Workbook.

"But wait!" you say. "What's an Investigative Workbook?" Well, I'll tell you. The IWB is a hardbound sketchbook with a black cover. It's kind of like a "journal" of your artwork. You're supposed to have a balance of the 3 types of pages- studio/process/visual (your own art- how you make it, talking about it, etc.; when I did a painting, I would take a picture of what it was I was painting, and then include pictures of the painting as I was working on it, and wrote about what techniques I was using), critical (other people's art; I was doing some splatter-painting last year, so I read up about Jackson Pollock, and got some pictures of his work), and socio-cultural (relating something that has to do with your art to society and culture- I had entries about Converse All Star sneakers, the history and development of pointe shoes, and CBGB & OMFUG; all things that were important to some aspect of society and culture). The page requirement varies by school and teacher, but my teachers required us to have 15-20 new pages as a month as a junior, and 10 new pages a month as a senior (I was rarely under the limit, but often over).

I ended up having 291 pages in all- I completely filled one "volume" back in September, and had to start a new one. It's actually kind of amazing. I estimate I used at least 5 or 6 glue sticks, plus probably 2 or full rolls of double-stick tape, to make my IWB. At first, I was having trouble deciding what pages to photocopy, but I ended up photocopying more than I needed (of course I only included 30 pages).

2. One-on-one Critique- This was actually kind of scary. Basically, I laid out all of my work (!!!) in the gallery at my school, and talked about it with an examiner for 45 minutes. She asked me questions, but I definitely had to be prepared. I had a hard time seeing what she was thinking, because her face didn't really show much expression. Anyways, I think I did a good job, but I don't really know, since I won't find out until July. IB exams are scored from 1 to 7. I've done a lot of work (and I think some of it is pretty good!), but there are definitely people who are better artists than I am. Very, very few people receive 7s.

A complete list of 20 of the best songs... ever

2009-04-11T21:10:00.000-07:00

This blog is a complete list of 20 of the best songs... ever... or at least some of my favorite songs. They are in no particular order.

1. "Hanging By A Moment"- Lifehouse, No Name Face

2. "Revolution"- The Beatles, The Beatles

3. "Hold On"- Good Charlotte, The Young and the Hopeless

4. "Meant To Live"- Switchfoot, The Beautiful Letdown

5. "The Adventure"- Angels & Airwaves, We Don't Need To Whisper

6. "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"- U2, The Joshua Tree

7. "Welcome to my Life"- Simple Plan, Still Not Getting Any...

8. "The Middle"- Jimmy Eat World, Bleed American

9. "Smells Like Teen Spirit"- Nirvana, Nevermind

10. "I Miss You"- Blink-182, Blink-182

11. "Blitzkrieg Bop"- The Ramones

12. "There Is"- Box Car Racer, Box Car Racer

13. "No It Isn't"- +44, When Your Heart Stops Beating

14. "Lights and Sounds"-Yellowcard, Lights and Sounds

15. "Memory"- Sugarcult

16. "Jaded (These Years)"- Mest, Mest

17. "Wrecking Hotel Rooms"- MxPx, Panic

18. "Unwell"-Matchbox 20

19. "Welcome to the Black Parade"- My Chemical Romance, The Black Parade

20. "The Radio Saved My Life Tonight"- Bon Jovi

Please note that all of these bands have plenty of awesome songs- I only chose one song per band so as to make it more fair, if you will. Note that I haven't included the albums of all the songs, since I couldn't remember and didn't feel like looking it up.

Spring Term

2009-04-10T19:26:00.001-07:00

So basically, spring term of senior year is going awesome so far.

My classes have been, erm, less than challenging, which is actually quite nice. I don't get much homework, and I haven't learned much. In AP French, we're reviewing for the AP exam- our homework is (usually) exercises in the AP book (I do the exercises, but the answers are like on the next page), which we go over in class.

My English class this term is Children's Literature, and we've been reading fairy tales. We've had two quizzes so far- one on "Hansel & Gretel" and "Rumpelstiltskin", and one on "The King of the Golden River" (sidenote- you've probably never read "The King of the Golden River", but you should... it's really, really good). And I got a perfect score on both of them. I also wrote a paper on Harry Potter. Thursday, we drew pictures with crayons (I drew a picture of the maiden in "Rumpelstiltskin" offering Rumpelstiltskin her necklace in exchange for spinning the straw into gold).

In Research & Experimental Design (the class I have now since Biotechnology was only 2 terms), we're designing our own experiments- mine is having to do with swimming speeds.

In IB Art, we're preparing for the IB Art exam, which is actually intense, but the hard stuff is basically done now. I also put up my senior exhibit in the art gallery at school.

In AP Calculus, we're done learning new stuff, so we're basically reviewing for the AP exam.

In AP Physics, we're also reviewing. Last week, the teacher said to the class, "I don't know how I'm going to give you guys grades. I don't think there's any reason to have a test." No test, but now we've had a few graded AP practice problems (which aren't too hard, since a lot of them are problems we've done before).

Health class isn't too bad. One of the assignments is to demonstrate a "life skill", and mine is ironing. I don't have to actually bring in an iron (that would be... awkward?), it's mostly about teaching the steps.

Last weekend, I visited Washington University in St. Louis, and it rocked! The first organized activity we (the engineering students) had was a design challenge- we were given a bunch of materials (plastic bag, duct tape, balloon, paper bowls and plate, Play Dough, aluminum foil, foam, felt, construction paper, rubber band, ribbon, straw) and a pint of Haagen-Daz vanilla ice cream, and we had to use the materials to keep the ice cream cold (without putting it in a refridgerator). My group's design actually worked- wrapped in various materials, with a balloon taped on top, the ice cream barely melted, even after being left out for almost an hour.

I visited a biology class, which was pretty cool. I also got to see five labs- an electrical and systems engineering lab, a mechanical engineering lab, a mechanical engineering/ fluid mechanics lab, a classical chemical engineering lab, and a chemical/environmental engineering lab. I bought a sweatshirt and some stickers at the bookstore (and got 15% off, thanks to being a pre-frosh). The Wash U campus is really, really nice. I think the style of buildings is called "collegiate gothic". The architecture is very college-ish. No ivy-covered buildings, though.

While at Wash U, I also met a lot of really cool people. I liked getting to meet other pre-frosh, and the current Wash U students I met there were really nice, and seemed to really like it.

I did like Wash U a lot, but I'm still considering Carnegie Mellon, USC, Lehigh, and Case Western (and I've never even been to Case Western).

So basically, I have like 15 days left of high school. It's actually kind of awesome. I am so incredibly excited to graduate. I can't wait to go to college.

Advice

2009-04-04T11:46:00.000-07:00

So my computer has been having problems lately. So far I've spent over 4 hours total on the phone with tech support, and I've talked to 8 different people, all with heavy accents (some French, some Indian). I've walked through a few of the same procedures multiple times, and now they've decided they're going to reinstall my Operating System. I didn't want to lose all my files, so I bought a 1.5 terabyte external hard drive (that's 1500 gigabytes... my computer's hard drive is either 60 or 80). Even with EVERYTHING from my laptop (music, pictures, word documents, program files) on it, it's still less than 5% full.

Now, I'd like to give some advice to anyone and everyone who reads this blog:

1. When you buy a computer, buy the biggest hard drive available. Also, buy a USB flash drive (2GB should suffice) for any time you need to make documents "portable" and internet isn't available or you don't want to rely on email. Also buy an external hard drive (that's preferably larger than your computer's hard drive) and back up EVERYTHING on it. Even if you already have a computer and aren't planning on getting a new one soon, you should still buy a USB flash drive and a larger external hard drive. Having everything backed up will make your whole life easier if, say, your computer crashes, or you have to get a new hard drive.

2. When applying to colleges, don't get hung up on one particular school, especially if it starts with H, P, Y, D, B, C, M, or S, and it's in the north-east or in California (a.k.a. the ivy league schools, MIT, Caltech, and Stanford). Because if you don't get in, you'll be pretty upset. It's also good to apply to several "match" and "safety" schools that you actually like and can afford. Also, don't apply to a college if there's NO chance you'll go there.

3. Don't screw around in high school. Pay attention in class. Take notes. Do your homework. If you need an extension on an assignment, don't be afraid to ask for one. Take the SAT and ACT. Whichever you take first, if you do really well on it, there's no need to take the other. At the same time, have fun in high school, and don't stress out too much.

4. Wear comfortable clothes and shoes when traveling. If you're traveling by plane, try wearing slip-on shoes (not clogs or sandals, but something like Uggs or slip-on sneakers that stay on your feet) so you don't have to untie and retie fifty times. Don't overpack, but don't underpack. Would you rather carry around a heavy bag, or not have something you really really need?

5. Read. Every day (or night). I don't care how busy you are, you do have time to read, even if it's only for 10 or 15 minutes before you go to bed. Read books. They will make you smarter, or at least you'll expand your vocabulary. Reading won't kill you. In fact, reading is cool. Really.

6. Don't be afraid to try something you've never tried before. It's okay to join (or tryout for) a sports team even if you've never played before. It's also okay to join a club, or take a class, to learn something you've never done before. It's also okay to try a food you've never tried before (like, I never thought I'd like artichoke hearts or eggplant, but they're both delicious).

7. When calling tech support, it is ideal to have a phone that has clear reception (so a house phone might be better than a cell phone) and one that you can put on speaker phone. Also, if you have a problem with your computer, don't call tech support if you only have 1o minutes to fix it. My problem may be more complicated than some, but I've already spent 4 hours on the phone with tech support, and it hasn't even been fixed yet. When you do call tech support, make sure you're situated somewhere comfortable, and (if you're using a laptop) near a power supply.

8. Become a vegetarian, if you aren't one already. Because vegetarians are smarter, more attractive, funnier, and more creative than non-vegetarians. Actually, none of those have been proven. But vegetarians are more compassionate and caring, and health-conscious.

9. Be true to yourself. Don't be afraid to admit that you like something that may or may not be cool. I like math, and I also like some bands that I've heard aren't "cool". I also don't always dress the way "most" people dress. I dress the way I want to dress.

10. When putting posters on your walls, remember that if you tape one poster over part of another poster, it may rip when you try to take it down.

11. Don't put aluminum foil in the microwave. It's not a good idea. Also, when you microwave soup, do put plastic wrap over the top, but not too tightly. That's not a good idea either.

12. Be nice to other people. Don't be a jerk. Contrary to popular belief, jerks aren't happier. Act polite. Know how you should (and shouldn't) act and what you should (and shouldn't) say to people younger than you, people your own age, and people older than you. Don't be fake (see #9), but do be cordial. It's not cool to have no manners. But at the same time, don't be uptight.

13. If you travel a lot (camp? boarding school/college? vacation), label anything you own that has value to you. You don't have to label every sock you own, but you should label anything that's expensive (computer, iPod, cellphone, jewelry, musical instrument), anything you need to survive (medications or medical devices), or anything that has sentimental value (family heirlooms, etc.) with your name and some way to contact you (email, phone, or address... just in case it gets lost). Or just don't bring these things with you at all when you travel.

14. Have multiple email accounts. One should be simple and not immature-sounding (something for school, college and job applications, etc.)- like, "tomjones@hotmail.com". One should be for personal use- "tomtherocker068@hotmail.com". Some people like to have even more accounts (one "just for junkmail", one to use for signing up any accounts, one for contact with friends, etc.).

Goals I Have Set and Achieved

2009-03-30T18:40:00.000-07:00

In my life, I have set a lot of goals. I have also achieved some of them:

1. Write a novel- done x4. I began writing in eighth grade, and my goal from the beginning was always to write a novel from beginning to end. I've written a few so far, and some of them have turned out pretty good. I'm working on editing one right now.

2. Do a back handspring- done x a lot. I started gymnastics when I was in elementary school, but I think it was in when I was in fifth grade that I set the goal of wanting to learn a back handspring. It took a lot of work, but eventually, when I was in eighth grade, one day... I just did it. And it was awesome.

3. Get in to college- done x8. I didn't really care about college at all until junior year. I didn't even THINK about college until "College Night" last January. I spent the spring and summer searching and deciding where to apply, and I spent the fall applying to colleges. In all, I applied to 11, and got in to 8. Not bad.

4. Write a paper for school about Harry Potter- done! Although I have written papers and reports about many awesome things (such as C.S. Lewis and Roald Dahl books; and Good Charlotte, Simple Plan, and Angels & Airwaves), I have never had the chance to write a paper for school about Harry Potter... until now. And I must say, it feels awesome.

5. Record a song- done x several. I love writing songs, and I love recording songs, so recording songs I've written is pretty awesome. I've done it a few times.

6. Get an A in AP Physics- done x1. I had a B+ in AP Physics in Fall term, and I got an A in Winter term! That felt pretty good. I definitely worked hard for that.

Goals I Have Set, but Have Not Yet Achieved:

1. Read the entire Harry Potter series continuously (with some breaks for sleep and eating). Some would say this sounds like a complete waste of time. I say it sounds like completely awesome.

2. Get something I've written published (somewhere... somehow...).

3. Get straight As/A-s one term/semester. In Spring term of sophomore year, I had 5 As (or maybe 4 As and 1 A-, or 3 As and 2 A-s) and 1 B. Last term, I had 3 As, 1 A-, and 2 B+s. I have not gotten straight As/A-s for a single term/semester since middle school. It would be cool to do it again... sometime...

Decisions, part 6 (final)

2009-03-30T16:52:00.000-07:00

So today I received in the mail my final college decision, which looked something like this:Okay, it didn't look exactly like that, but that's a pretty good approximation of what the letter looked like. There was also a small blue card where I could check off if I wanted to remain on the waitlist or not.

So, overall, I've been accepted to 8 colleges, rejected at 2, and waitlisted at 1. Considering my GPA is less than 4.0, and my ACT is less than 36, and my extra-curriculars are not that exciting (no national awards or recognition, nor am I a nationally ranked athlete, sorry), I think I did pretty well.

Decisions, part 5; school colors and mascots

2009-03-28T09:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I logged on to my Lehigh application tracking portal, and saw this...
I haven't gotten my letter in the mail yet, but supposedly it was mailed Thusrday, so it should come soon (I'm not far from Lehigh).

So far I've gotten accepted to 8 colleges (Rose-Hulman, Rutgers, Case Western, Wash. U, USC, RPI, Carnegie Mellon, and Lehigh) and rejected to 2 (that Institute of Technology in Cambridge; and that Institute of Technology in Pasadena). I think I'm doing pretty well. The only college I haven't heard from yet is Pomona.

Also, I'd like to talk about school colors and mascots.

My high school's mascot is kind of lame (something having to do with the fact that the school was founded before the US-ofA was technically a nation... or something). Our colors are red and black, which isn't too bad.

As for the colleges I've been accepted to-

*Rose-Hulman- Rosie the Elephant; old rose and white.

*Rutgers- knights/raptors/raiders (seriously?); scarlet.

*Case Western- spartans (that is cool); case blue, white, and case gray.

*Wash. U- bears; red and green.

*USC- trojans; USC cardinal and USC gold.

*RPI- the red hawk and puckman; cherry and white.

*Carnegie Mellon- Scotty the scottie dog; cardinal, gray, and tartan plaid.

*Lehigh- mountain hawks; brown and white.

I've gotta say, it's impressive the amount of ways there are to say "red". I also think that Carnegie Mellon has the best school colors (I'm pretty sure it's the only school that has plaid as its school color).

Decisions, part 4

2009-03-23T21:11:00.000-07:00

Initially, I had three "top choices" when applying to college: that Institute of Technology that's the only Institute of Technology most people have heard of, that Institute of Technology on the West Coast, and that University that is the only university in the country that is extremely excellent in both math/science/engineering and the arts.

After getting rejected from the Institutes of Technology, I was kinda upset, no lie, but I wasn't too upset since I had already gotten in to a few colleges, and plus I had yet to hear from the University, a.k.a. Carnegie Mellon.

So I heard that Carnegie Mellon would start mailing decision letters Friday, March 20th, and would post decisions online either 3 or 4 days after your letter was mailed. Nothing came in the mail Monday, nothing was online Monday either. But I figured I might as well stay up till Tuesday/Today/24th/midnight, because maybe my decision would be up. I'm glad I stayed up, because:
(In case you can't read it, it says Decision: Accept, a.k.a., I got in).

I think that's one of the most beautiful screenshots I've ever seen, ever.

Epicness on Teh Internetz

2009-03-16T11:59:00.000-07:00

So, instead of blogging about just one thing, I figured I would create a blog dedicated to epicness on teh internetz- basically, epic websites.

1. Picture Is Unrelated- A collection of pictures that just make you go... WTF? Wtf is going on in this picture? How did this situation occur? Why are these people/objects/animals in this situation? More importantly, why is someone there to photograph it?
2. This Is Why You're Fat- A collection of "deliciously gross food". Most of it looks gross (bacon chili-topper cheeseburger? no thanks)- a lot of it has meat of some sort involved (bacon, pork, chicken, beef, steak...), and I'm a vegetarian. Some of it is humorous (the "porkgasm" is a pig-shaped collection of all variants of pig meat), and some of it is beyond unhealthy (deep-fried White Castle burgers), and some of it simply large portions of normally unhealthy food ("Behemoth Glazed Donut" appears to be a regular glazed donut, except, you know, bigger). My personal "favorite" is "Meat (In) Loaf":
3. Oddee- Oddee is basically a collection of epic lists of awesomeness, whether it be lists of "Most Bizarre Musical Instruments", "Mad Scientists", or (one of my favorites) "Awesome 3D Pavement Illusions", such as the one below.
4. Myspace- zomg, teh myspace iz sew totally epic! lulz. In all seriousness, Myspace is pretty awesome. It was around before Facebook, and it has more members than Facebook. Also, I've found Myspace to be an awesome way to find out about really great bands... and then you can be all "Hey! I know this band!" when you hear one of their songs on MTV. I'm listening to The Mile After as I write this blog, and they are rock/powerpop/pop/amazing.

5. The Click (from The N)- Thanks to The Click, from The N, I can watch Degrassi... WHENEVER I WANT... for free. For those of you who don't know, Degrassi is the best show on television. It's a Canadian Teen Soap Opera/Drama, basically, and if you don't speak Canadian, that means it's amazing. It's overly dramatic, it's stupid, and oh my god, I've seen all 158 episodes, some (er... most) of them at least twice.

Decisions, part 3

2009-03-14T10:58:00.000-07:00

So I applied to MIT, knowing it was a stretch, knowing I probably wouldn't get in (but wanting to get in, even so). I logged on to the decisions website today, and was greeted with this screen:

As much as I wanted to get in, I knew I probably wouldn't. I like how they say they're "unable to offer me admission". That's a nice line. It's a pretty stark rejection letter (that's not the whole letter, but I think you get the point)- I mean, gray? Though, I guess it would be kind of mean if there were, like, fireworks in the background or something- "Congratulations on your rejection!"

But later, I logged on to check my decision for RPI (Rensselaer). Not only did I see the following screen, I also heard music in the background!

So, that was a pretty nice thing to see. So far I've gotten accepted to 6 colleges, and rejected from 2. I predicted I'd get accepted at 5, rejected at 5, and waitlisted at 1 (I applied to 11 total). I've already beaten my own prediction!

***EDIT 3/15/09- I just found out that I got a nice merit scholarship from RPI. Hey, it may not be my first choice, but that's still cool!***

Lifeguard Training

2009-03-13T14:31:00.000-07:00

I have always liked the pool and swimming and being in the water. So in 8th grade, my mom looked in to lifeguard training- turns out you have to be 15 to take the class. In 10th grade, I was old enough (15), but I was recovering from knee surgery and couldn't swim breaststroke (like, at all- and one of the requirements to take the class is that you have to swim 100 yards breaststroke). In 11th grade, I could almost sort of swim breaststroke, but I had wayyyy too much homework.

But I figured that this year- senior year- would be a good time to do my lifeguard training. The classes are 5:30-9:30pm, Tuesday and Thursday, so not much time for homework (or tv watching) on those days.

I arrived at the pool at 7:30pm last Monday to take the pre-test. I was totally prepared to swim 300 yards continuously (100 yards free, 100 yards breast, 100 of either) and swim 20 yards, surface dive, grab a 10 pound brick, swim to the other side, and get out of the pool within 1 minute 40 seconds.

It turns out we also had to tread water for 5 minutes without using our hands. This wasn't on the website, but whatever. I have a "secret" for easily treading water without using my hands- I use the eggbeater kick. I learned how to do it when I took synchronized swimming classes at the YMCA (when I was in 3rd grade, for all of... a few months). It's so much easier (at least I think so), because you're "sitting" in the water, as opposed to just being straight up-and-down vertical.

I passed the test, thankfully, and the next night, I went to the first class. So far, it's been going well.

Class #1- We spent a lot of time in the class room, learning about safety and things. In addition to "lecture", we watching Red Cross lifeguarding videos, which I'd say can be accurately compared to Driver's Ed videos. When we got to the pool, we learned 3 different entries- slide-in entry, stride jump, and compact jump. We also got to jump in and swim with the rescue tube. The rescue tube is the red foam thing that lifeguards always carry that looks like this:Rescue tubes are actually extremely buoyant. These things can keep you and two (or three) of your buddies afloat- making them very helpful for rescues.

Class #2- We learned more about safety and general procedures and "patron surveillance" (that's the technical term for watching people in the pool). When we got to the pool, we practiced rotating (that's the technical term for when one person's shift ends and the next person has to come and take over).

Class #3- In the classroom, we learned about procedures in case of an emergency, and rescues. In the pool, we learned how to rescue both active and passive drowning victims at the surface, fake-whistle and all. In addition to learning how to rescue, we each had to take turns pretending to be the victim. It's kind of weird "pretending to drown" when you're not actually, you know, drowning.

Class #4- We took the first written test, on basically everything we've learned so far (thankfully, I passed). Then we learned about more types of rescues in the video. Once we got to the pool, we learned how to actually perform multiple victim rescues, and shallow-water submerged victim rescues. Being one of the victims in the multiple victim rescue was interesting. My fellow victim and I basically had to be on top of each other ("Grab each other around the neck!" the instructor said. or something), which was awkward. Doing the submerged victim rescue was challenging, as you have to let go of the rescue tube to get the victim, then put the tube under the victim. Luckily, I was able to do it.

Next week, we're learning about first aid and CPR- we already got our "student first aid kits" and CPR masks- and probably AED, too. In addition to getting "lifeguard" certification, I'll also become certified in first aid, and CPR/AED for the professional rescuer. Lifeguarding and first aid certification is valid for three years, and CPR/AED for the professional rescuer (as opposed to normal person CPR) is valid for one year. Last August, I was certified in CPR/AED for the professional rescuer, but I've pretty much forgotten, well, everything, so it's good that I'm getting certified again.

There will be a written test for CPR/AED/first aid, and then (at least) one more written test (final exam) for lifeguarding (on the last day of the class). On the last day, we'll also have a "practical exam". I'm kinda nervous for that, but I'm glad I'll (hopefully!- assuming I pass) become a certified lifeguard.

Decisions, part 2

2009-03-13T08:49:00.000-07:00

So I realized that I never actually posted a picture of my rejection letter from Caltech. Since I can't get a photograph of the actual letter, here's the email I received ~5 hours after I got the letter:
However, late Wednesday night, I logged on to check my application status for Washington University, and this is what I saw:
I was TOTALLY excited to see that, because guess what? My college counselor initially identified Washington University as a "reach" for me- my grades were below the average for accepted students from my school, and Wash U also doesn't take a whole lot of people from my school (last year, 10 people- out of a class of 100- applied, and only 1 got in). So basically, I was TOTALLY PSYCHED to see this!

I'll be getting "big envelopes" in the mail soon from Wash U and Case Western- and hopefully, from some other colleges and universities, too.

I'm doing pretty well, admissions-wise. I've already been accepted at 5 awesome places. Hopefully, I'll get some more acceptances, but even if I don't, it's all good. I have to make a decision by May 1. Right now, off the places I've been accepted at, I'm not really sure which one I would go to. But I guess having several good choices is a good problem to have, right?

***EDIT- About 3 seconds after I posted this blog, the UPS guy arrived, with... a large envelope addressed to yours truly, from Washington University! Yay!***

*****EDIT2- A few hours after posting this blog, the mail came, with... a large envelope addressed to yours truly, from Case Western! I opened the envelope, and inside was a folder with a letter paper-clipped to the front. That letter congratulated me on my acceptance to the university, and offered me a significant merit scholarship. So basically, I'm ecstatic.*****

An Institute Of Higher Education That Happens To Be Located in Southern California

2009-03-11T16:11:00.001-07:00

Last March, I went out to Los Angeles with my mom to visit colleges. My mom's company has headquarters out there, and I was on Spring Break, so it seemed like a good time to visit some colleges (especially since I knew I would prefer a warm climate). We planned to visit that awesome liberal arts college whose mascot is the sagehen, that engineering-focused college that is technically a liberal arts college where my cousin attends, that college where the movie "Fired Up!" was filmed (we were there while they were filming it), and that insitute of technology that just rejected me.

The day we got there, I was pretty exhausted (I had to wake up at like 5am NJ time). I went to my mom's LA office with her, and she worked while I read (or something). We went out to lunch with some of the people from the office, and it turns out that one of her coworkers went to the University of Southern California, and knows someone who's a student there now. The student at USC showed us around, and it was pretty cool. Originally, I said that I definitely wanted a small(er) college, but I liked USC, because, in the words of my tour guide, "Pretty much anything you want to do, you can do it at USC." It was my first college visit (not the first time I had ever been to a college, but the first time I had actually visited for the purpose of knowing that I might apply). USC's campus is really nice (though, the surrounding area isn't great). When I was there, I picked up a copy of the school paper, and one of the front page articles was about a physics professor who went skydiving, and I was immediately like, "USC is cool."

So I applied to USC. USC, it turns out, has these awesome merit scholarships that will cover 1/2 or full tuition. I didn't expect to qualify for any of those, so when I got the letter in the mail saying I didn't qualify, I didn't really care.

This week, I received some email and snail mail from USC regarding (need-based) financial aid ("make sure you submit your FAFSA!" etc.), so I made sure to tell my dad. I heard that some people had already received their decisions from USC, and I hadn't. I was worried it might mean that I was rejected.

Then, today, I was watching television, when I heard my dog bark like a psycho, which meant the mail had arrived. My dad told me to check the mail. I saw a large white envelope from USC, and when I opened it, inside was a folder that looked something like this:

I hope you enjoy my artistic rendering; my camera still isn't working, so I couldn't actually take a photograph. Some day, I WILL get my camera fixed. Maybe.

Decisions, part 1

2009-03-10T20:44:00.000-07:00

So after my Caltech decision made me feel kinda like this, I decided that I must have hope that I wouldn't get the same response from everywhere else.

Last night, I tried to check the status of my Case Western application (did they receive all of my admissions materials? have they made their decision?) and it said that the application tracker was down. So I went to check the status again today, and was greeted by this *beautiful* message:
In case you can't read it, the important part says, "Congratulations!... you have been admitted to Case Western Reserve University!" So yeah, I'm pretty happy right now.

Also- That Institute Of Technology That Hasn't Yet Rejected Me will be posting decisions this Saturday, at a minute before 2pm. Oh, come on. 3/14 is pi day, and they're doing it at 1:59 (pm). Pi is 3.14159.... I was excited about that little fact, I don't know if you were. But seriously. 3/14 at 1:59... that is cool.

molly out loud

2009-03-09T20:12:00.000-07:00

So in 7th (or 8th?) grade, I was doodling during French class on the back of my notebook. I decided to write all of the letters of my name "on top of each other", and came up with what would eventually look like this:

In the summer between 7th and 8th grade, as I was preparing for my Bat Mitzvah, it was decided that my favor would be perfume for the girls, and cologne for the boys. I wanted a cool "name" for the perfume, so I decided on "m.o.l."- short for "molly out loud" (the boys one was m.o.l. for men). The perfume labels had a pink, Andy-Warhol-style flower on them, and the cologne labels had a sailboat, or something.

Eventually, molly out loud, along with the logo used above, became "my" design for clothes and stuff. In 8th grade, I began designing t-shirts for concerts, using both Zazzle and my own great artistic talent (fabric paint and sharpies, mostly).

Around the end of 10th grade, I stumbled upon the Neighborhoodies website. I LOVED the designs, and really wanted one... but a hoodie like I wanted would cost over $70. So I figured... I might as well make my own hoodie. This hoodie was the first piece of "molly out loud" clothing. I embroidered my logo on the front, sewed a zebra print star on the back, and lined the hood with zebra print fabric (same fabric used to do the star). Here's a few pictures of me rocking that hoodie.

As you can see, it is quite an awesome hoodie. It took a long time, though:
-First I had to fix some of the holes in the hoodie. Okay, I did kind of a messy job of that.
-Then I printed out my logo, and pinned it on to the place I wanted it to be, making sure I had stretched the fabric taught in an embroidery hoop.
-I traced the pattern of the logo on to the hoodie. That actually took awhile.
-I embroidered the logo. That took FOREVER!
-I printed and cut out a star.
-I pinned the star to the back of the hoodie, and traced it on to the zebra fabric, then cut the star out of the fabric.
-I sewed on the star. But I didn't just do it once. No, I made sure to double the seam- so it would be strong (and it's held up perfectly for almost 2 years).
-I traced the inside of the hood onto the zebra fabric, and cut out 2 identical (but "opposite") hood-shaped pieces of fabric.
-I hemmed the fabric.
-I sewed the fabric to the inside of the hood, again doubling the seam.
It was quite a labor, but it was a labor of love. I don't recommend sewing while in the car (it's just... not a good idea), but I do recommend sewing while sitting on your butt, watching television.

"molly out loud" has expanded, so to say. I've made a few more clothing items since then:
-magenta t-shirt with black spray-painted logo, and white t-shirt with blue/green/yellow spray-painted logo
-white t-shirt with black spray-painted logo and "molly out loud"
-And now, I'm working on a purse, which is extremely awesome. It's made out of 2 old t-shirts (and a bunch of thread...). The outside is light heather gray, the lining is periwinkle blue. The front of the purse has a bunch of awesome quotes/sayings on it, written small, in different colored sharpies. I also sewed on my logo in periwinkle. The back has one quote, written larger, and "molly out loud". Inside, there's a cellphone-sized pocket. I also sewed in a purse snap. The straps are periwinkle, and once I sew them on, I'll be done. I've spent a lot of hours on it so far, but I like doing it.

In other news: I got rejected from Caltech. Oh, well.

Why can't I live in California?

2009-03-06T13:22:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I wish I lived in California.

Mostly, I wish I lived in California when it's snowing. I'm not exactly a fan of cold weather. I hate being cold. I hate it. I hate snow. I don't like playing in the snow (I used to, but then I kinda... changed my mind). Sitting inside and looking at the snow is okay, until people walk on it and it gets all messed up. And driving when it's snowing is horrible. It's kind of like driving in the rain, except it's white (not see-through), and salt trucks on the road cause salt (which looks almost exactly like snow when you're driving) to hit your car and sound like hail. I also hate when the roads get icy. Because honestly, that's just no fun.

I much prefer warm weather. Warm weather is much, much more pleasant (to me) than cold weather. I think there's some correlation between the weather and my mood. I tend to be in a much better mood, just in general, in the summer (when it's warm and sunny all or most of the time) than in the winter (when it's cold and snowy). California- specifically southern California- is warm and nice. Just over 10 years ago, in January 1999, my mom and I visited my cousins (her brother and his wife and children) in Los Angeles. And I went swimming- outside- in January! You can't do that in New Jersey, or anywhere in the northeast. Or anywhere in the north, for that matter.

So when it came time to make my initial list of colleges that I was interested in, one of my stipulations was that it should be in a warm area. Of course, most of the colleges I applied to aren't in places that are warm. Cambridge isn't exactly known for mild winters. And Pittsburgh and Troy, New York aren't known for their great weather, either. But some of the colleges I applied to are in southern California (I'd say southern California is known for a nice climate). Like that one awesome liberal arts college that I'm a legacy at. Like that really big university that has good sports teams, but is really good academically, too. Like that small tech school that's kind of like that other tech school in Cambridge, except smaller, and in an ideal climate.

"That small tech school" brings me to the other time I wish I lived in California. I wish I lived in California RIGHT NOW, because Caltech is emailing decisions at 4pm PST tomorrow. That means that I won't see my decision until 7pm local time. I know it's waiting the same amount of hours, total, either way, but 7pm just feels like a lot later than 4pm. I mean, assuming I wake up at 10am, then 4pm is 6 hours after I've woken up, but 7pm is 9 hours after I've woken up. 9 hours is 3 hours longer than 6 hours.

Also, if I lived in California, I probably would've gotten my actual decision letter by now, being that Caltech is in California (it is the California Institute of Technology, after all).

Getting ready for decisions...

2009-03-04T13:09:00.000-08:00

So as of yesterday, I was assuming I'd receive my admissions decisions from colleges in the following order:

1. RPI, MIT, and Caltech- 3/14-3/22ish
2. Case Western, Wash U, Lehigh, USC- 4/1ish
3. Pomona- 4/5ish
4. Carnegie Mellon- 4/15

I'm a big fan of MIT's admissions blogs. Caltech also has some blogs, too- from the director of admissions, and from various students, talking about their experiences in cooking class, on a sports team (yes... Caltech has sports teams), or in a lab.

Today, I checked the director's blog, only to see:

"We are finishing up the letters and expect to mail freshman admissions decisions tomorrow. I'll post more details once the mail goes out."

This was posted yesterday, March 3. Today is yesterday's tomorrow, which means my decision letter could quite possibly be in the mail already.

I'm kind of nervous, to be perfectly honest. I mean, I do want to know where I'll be getting in, and where I'll be going, but at the same time... this is kind of scary. Where will I get in? Honestly, I don't know for sure. I have an idea (thanks to my college counselor) of where I'll probably get in and where I probably won't get in. I know where I want to get in, and I know where I don't really care about getting in. Luckily for me, the list of places I'll probably get in does overlap somewhat with the list of places I want to get in to.

I know that whatever happens, I'll end up somewhere great. I've already been accepted somewhere- and that might be a great place. But hopefully, I will get in to other places, too. I hope that I'll have a hard time choosing where to go, because that would mean that I have multiple good choices. But I mean, if all else fails, I could always go here.

Oh, and by the way: I have (almost) no homework tonight. It feels so good to say that. It's 4:23 pm, and I think I'm going to go watch television.

***EDIT 3/4/09 9:45pm- I just checked on the blog again...

...so basically, spring break will start off either extremely awesome or somewhat suckish.

Conservation of Socks? I think not.

2009-02-27T14:07:00.000-08:00

A little background: If you ever take Physics (or Chemistry, or maybe even Biology, or maybe even Earth Science), you'll learn about the Conservation of Energy. This basically means that energy can't be created or destroyed; the amount of energy in the universe never changes, it just gets converted into other forms.

"But what about when I ride a bike? I'm creating kinetic energy [[energy due to motion]] then!" No, you're not creating kinetic energy. You've simply converted the chemical energy stored in your muscles to mechanical energy, pedaling the bike. That chemical energy comes from the food you eat. The energy in the food (let's say you ate an apple) comes from the sun (photosynthesis)- if you're eating meat, the energy you get comes from the energy stored in the animal's muscles, which comes from plants. Pretty cool, huh? The amount of energy that was in the universe 3 billion years ago is the same amount today. Energy doesn't just magically disappear or appear; it is converted from one form to another (i.e. mechanical to electrical). Awesome.

However, there is, apparently, no such thing as the Conservation of Socks.

How would I know this? Experience.

See, I used to have this thing when I was home that I would go in to one room, decide my feet were too hot, and take off my socks. I don't really do that any more. But I do wear socks, and I swear, the amount of socks in the world (or at least, the amount of socks that are under my ownership) does not obey the law of conservation.

I usually wear socks to sleep, because usually my feet are cold. But then I'll wake up in the morning, and one sock, sometimes two, has (have) fallen off of my foot (feet). So I'll pick up the blankets, and search around... and there is, approximately, a 50% chance that I will not find the sock. I search and search... and no sock. It's like the sock just disappears.

Sometimes, I'll take my shoes off, and leave my socks in my shoes, and they might not be there when I get back.

When I stay somewhere (besides my home) overnight, I pack a pair of socks (so, including the pair I'm wearing, I'll have 2 pairs). There is approximately a 20% chance that I will return home with 3 socks or fewer.

Last July, I probably had 15 pairs of nice, white, normal socks. I have not given any away, nor have I sold any. But now, I'm somehow down to like... 5 (I have other socks- fuzzy ones, polka dot ones, but I like plain white socks best). Where have all my socks gone? I have no clue.

***EDIT 3/3/09- this picture explains everything. ***

The End of an Era

2009-02-14T14:13:00.000-08:00

So one day in 9th grade, at morning meeting, I heard someone make an announcement- anyone who was interested in joining the school's varsity swim team (no experience necessary) should come to the meeting later that week. Hm, I thought, I like swimming. Maybe I should join the swim team!

When I got home, I mentioned the announcement to my mom, who immediately encouraged me to join the swim team. I was a little wary at first, but I decided to do it. After all, how bad could it be? I had never swam competitively before, but I'd be okay, right? Especially since I was friendly with some of the people on the team, I figured it wouldn't be that bad- and besides, I could always quit if I hated it.

So I went to the meeting, and signed up for the team. There was still a month left until practice would actually start, which at first felt like a pretty long time. But the date loomed closer and closer, and I felt a mix of nervousness and excitement as I shopped for swim suits, goggles, and swim caps.

Finally it was time for the first practice. I placed myself in the slowest lane- I figured I would probably be one of the slowest ones on the team (I was right). I also figured that I probably wouldn't get to swim in any meets or earn a varsity letter (I was wrong on both accounts).

I knew that swimming would, if nothing else, be a great workout. I could barely move my arms after the first practice. I was exhausted, in a new sense of the word. Sure, I'd had tough gymnastics practices before, but this was a different kind of tiredness- the feeling was new to me.

I didn't swim in the very first swim meet; instead the coach had me keep score (which was pretty boring, to be honest). I did, however, swim in almost every meet after that. I even got to swim in the County, Conference, and Prep Championship meets! Sure, pretty much all I swam was a 50 free, and sure, I always came in last, and sure, my goggles fell off a lot when I dove in, but I was swimming in big meets! I was so excited when I earned my varsity letter. Going in to high school, who would have ever thought that I would earn a varsity letter? I certainly wouldn't have.

In the summer between 9th and 10th grade, I joined a summer rec swim team at my town pool. Having had the experience of varsity swimming, the rec team practices felt relatively easy. The meets were long- there were only like 6 events (50 free, 50 back, 50 fly, 50 breast, 100 IM, 200 free relay, I think), but there were boys and girls divisions for each event; and then there were the age groups (8 and under, 9-10, 11-12, 13-14, 15-18); and within each age group, there were multiple heats. I clearly remember, one morning, leaving the house for a meet at 6:45am, and getting home around 1:30pm. I liked the summer swim team so much that I even considered trying out for the YMCA swim team in my town. That would be a huge commitment- year round practices several times a week, sometimes at 5:30am! I ended up not trying out (I probably wouldn't have made it; the Y team in my town is really good).

Then one morning, after practice, I went to gymnastics. I tore my meniscus and ACL. That September (10th grade), I had surgery. The orthopedist told me I could swim, but I couldn't flipturn for "awhile" (I could flipturn by January), I also couldn't dive in for "awhile" (I dove in for the first time at the Prep Championship meet in February), I couldn't swim breaststroke (I still can't really swim breaststroke), and I should always wear flipflops on the pool deck and be really careful not to slip (I still am). I would have to miss practice once a week for physical therapy, though.

Not being able to dive in was, in a weird way, a sort of blessing. I started racing backstroke. It took awhile to perfect my turns (actually, I never really "perfected" my turns). But I really liked backstroke. I remember clearly one meet that year, I was swimming the 100 back, I was about to do the turn at the end of the first lap, and I saw some of my team mates cheering me on, and it was just the coolest thing ever.

11th grade was a pretty "normal" season. Except I had to miss a lot of practices- driving lessons, guitar lessons, and too much homework (Junior year, winter term = so much homework!).

This year (12th grade) it took until a few weeks into the season for me to realize that this was my last swim season. I didn't get to swim in the first meet (it was a tri-meet, meaning three teams instead of the usual two), so I was upset. I didn't stay for the whole thing (it was a Friday, I'd had a long day, and frankly, I just wanted to get home!). I was so annoyed that I didn't get to swim in the first meet (come on, I'm a senior!) that I briefly considered quitting the swim team, and instead trying out for the school musical. Then I realized that not only would I probably not get a part in the musical if I tried out, I would also miss swimming.

So I stuck it out. The first few weeks of the swim season were tough, because I was juggling so much: swim practice and meets, ballet, homework, and college applications. Needless to say, I didn't sleep quite as much as I wanted to.

Then came County Championships- you know, that time when I had to wake up at 6am on the first day back from winter break? The next week, on Friday, was Conference Championships- you know, that time when I had to stay at school past 9pm.

This past Wednesday was the Prep Championship meet. Our guys team came in 3rd at their Prep meet on Tuesday (which is pretty awesome), and they're actually going to the state tournament this week (which is also pretty awesome).

The Prep Championship meet is always a really long day. It was basically like this:
9:45am- We got on the bus. There's a TV on the bus, so someone puts on Fight Club, but I just put on my iPod, and prepare myself for the ride.
11:15- We get to the school where the meet is held. It's a boarding school, and the campus is really nice. The pool area isn't open yet, so we all hang out in the hallway.
11:30- The pool is opened, so we put our stuff down, and go change.
12:00pm- Warm-up starts, but my team has the second warm-up, so I read my book. I'm reading Peeps by Scott Westerfeld. I think Scott Westerfeld is an awesome writer. He writes mostly science fiction-y stuff for teens. It's not like dorky sci-fi, I just can't think of another word to describe it.
12:30- Time to warm up! I'm not really excited to get in the pool, but I get in anyway and swim. I realize that this is (most likely) the last time I'll be swimming in a competitive environment.
1:00- The meet starts, with the 200 medley relay. I read Topdog Underdog for English. It's okay. I'm reading for awhile, and then I have to go to the bathroom. As it happens every year, the bathroom has run out of toilet paper, which is awkward.
2:ooish- Time for my Exhibition 50 free. An "exhibition 50" is basically exactly what it sounds like: a 50 free that doesn't count for anything, a.k.a. a waste of time. I don't really know why my coach put me in an exhibition 50, since I was actually swimming a "real" race- 100 back. But whatever. I'm pretty sure the coach totally made up my seed time, so I'm in a heat with people who are much faster than me. But I do okay in the race. Not great, but okay.
2:05- After the race is done, I go back to my seat, and finish the reading for English. Then I read some more of Peeps, and generally just sit and watch the meet.
A few hours later- Finally it was time for my 100 back. I was excited, but nervous. I mean, it was my last race ever. I did alright. Not great, but alright. I came in either last or second to last in my heat, I don't quite remember. After my race, I shower and get changed. It's nice to not be sitting in a damp bathing suit. Dry clothes feel good.
6:30ish- We leave the meet. I see a van that says "SCHOOL STUDENTS" on it. Um, I thought the word "school" was implied in the word "students" (but correct me if I'm wrong).
7:00ish- We stop at Burger King. I'm starving. Since I'm a vegetarian, and I happen to know that Burger King's veggie burgers suck (I tried one sophomore year, after Preps), I just get fries and a chocolate milkshake. Do you know when the last time I had a chocolate milkshake was? I don't either, but it was a long time ago. I love milkshakes, but I don't have them very often.
7:30- We get back to school. After getting some stuff from my locker, I get in my car to drive home.
8:05- I get home.

And now, swim season of my senior year is over. I may not be "MVS" (Most Valuable Swimmer), but so what? I swam because I wanted to. And now, I keep wanting to type "I swim because I want to, or "I'm a varsity swimmer." I can no longer say either or those things. It's, "I swam because I wanted to", or "I was a varsity swimmer". I'm probably not going to swim in college, because frankly, I'm just not that good. If I had had to try out for the varsity swim team, I probably wouldn't have made it, but at my school, pretty much anyone who wants to do a sport can, and most people end up getting some time in the game- or, in the case of swimming, some chances to race in a meet.

I've accomplished a lot in swimming. I mean, I'm not significantly faster than I was when I started. But I'm in better shape, sort of. I swam 1500 yards in the first T-30, and at County Championships this year, I got first in my heat of the 100 back! When I swam on the summer rec team, I once got 2nd in my heat of the 50 back (2nd out of 2, but I still got a ribbon!), and my 200 free relay once got 1st place (again, I got a ribbon!).

I even wrote one of my college essays ("What experience in high school has mattered the most to you?" or something- kudos to anyone who knows what college it is) about swimming. I talked about how it helped me with setting and reaching goals, time management, competition, and perhaps something else that I can't remember.

I've gone through so many suits, caps, and pairs of goggles that I've lost count. It makes me sad, in a way, to see this "evidence" of my years on swim team in a pile on the floor (actually, this stuff really is in a pile on my floor, because my little sister had to borrow my swim bag for a sleepover). But it's cool, because I feel accomplished.

It's not like I'll never go swimming again. I mean, I have lifeguard training this spring, and this summer, I'll be lifeguarding and teaching swim lessons at the camp I work at (which is at my school). But it's different.

Do I regret swimming? Absolutely not. I figure that I spent close to 500 hours swimming. What would I have done with those 500 (or so) hours otherwise? Homework, perhaps. Maybe I would have gotten better grades, but maybe I wouldn't have. Watch TV. Read. Write. Play guitar. Maybe I would have taken dance classes. Maybe I wouldn't have had to stop gymnastics for 4 months freshman year, and maybe I never would have hurt my knee(s). Who knows? I'm not really sure what I would've done with all the extra time every winter, other than sleep in on Saturdays. I know one thing for sure, though- I wouldn't be the same person I am now. The end of swimming is truly the end of an era.

My classes- Part 3- AP AB/BC Calculus

2009-02-13T12:43:00.000-08:00

So Math has pretty much always been easy for me. I think Math is the only subject area in which I've actually never gotten a C on a test (I've had some grades of C- and lower- on tests/assignments in science, English, French, and humanities).

In 6th grade, I took Pre-Algebra. It was easy. Pythagorean theorem? Cool! In 7th grade, I took "Algebra 1 part 1 honors" (or something like that). Inequalities? Very, very awesome. I got a 100 on the final, I think. In 8th grade, I took "Algebra 1 part 2 honors" (or something like that). Parabolas were hard to learn, but pretty interesting. In 8th grade, I didn't think it was "cool" to be good at math, so I made a point out of purposely not trying as hard as I knew I could. Trigonometry was kind of hard, but pretty cool.

Before 9th grade, I took a placement test at the private school that I now go to (9th grade was my first year) to determine what math I would be in for 9th grade. The results came back, and I was recommended for Geometry Honors.

Geometry was okay. But it was weird because it wasn't really like Algebra. In Geometry, they give you the answer; you have to prove how you got there, whereas in Algebra, it's more about getting to the answer.

At the end of 9th grade, we started learning some Trigonometry. This time, Trigonometry was really cool.

At the very end of the year, we took a placement test to determine what class we'd be in for the next year- Algebra 2/Trigonometry, Algebra 2/Trigonometry Honors, or Math 3/4 (basically, Algebra 2/Trigonometry Honors and Pre-Calculus Honors combined in one year). The placement test and our final grade would determine which class we'd be placed in. Most people would go from Geometry Honors to Algebra 2/Trig Honors, but if you did really well (A-/A average for the year and a good score on the placement test), you'd go to Math 3/4, and if you didn't do so well (I'm guessing below a B average for the year) you'd go to Algebra 2/Trig.

I did really well on the placement test, but I had a B+ average for the year, so in 10th grade, I took Algebra 2/Trig Honors. At first, it was extremely easy, and the teacher talked to my parents and said that I probably should be in Math 3/4 because I was doing so well. But I didn't want to mess up my schedule or have to make up what I'd missed in Math 3/4, so I stayed in Algebra 2/ Trig Honors. I had multiple perfect scores on tests- and many times, the teacher would actually announce, "Guess what everybody, Molly got a hundred". The teacher would also shake the hand of everyone who did well or got an A (though both of these practices stopped part way through the year). I ended up with an A for the year.

So in 11th grade (last year) I took Pre-Calculus Honors. The first time we learned derivatives, I was really confused, but eventually they became really fun. We did trigonometry for most of the winter term, and on the first 3 tests, I got a 100, which was pretty cool. Since I had an A in Pre-Calculus, I was recommended for AP AB/BC Calculus for this year.

What, you ask, is AB/BC Calculus? Surely you've heard of AP AB Calculus and AP BC Calculus. Well, at my school, most people go from Pre-Calculus Honors to AP AB Calculus then AP BC Calculus. But if (like me) you did really well in Pre-Calculus Honors, then you take AB/BC Calculus, which is basically AP AB and BC Calculus combined in one year.

And let me tell you- AP AB/BC Calculus is awesome. Calculus in general is really cool, actually. I love numbers. It's just awesome. Picture a bowl, shaped like half a sphere. Okay, now picture water pouring in to the bowl at a constant rate. With calculus, you can figure out how fast the depth of the water is changing.

I ended up getting a B+ for fall term. I probably could have done better, though Riemann Sums basically ate my soul (not to mention the fact that I was extremely busy with college applications all fall).

For midterms this term, I had an A (zomg!). Since then, my grade has dropped to an A- (I got a 96 on the first test of the term- which is what was on the midterm- but an 83 on the second test). We're now learning about sequences and series- which is easy, but also pretty hard! I have a test on Tuesday- wish me luck, oh blog readers.

My classes- Part 2- IB Visual Arts (HL)

2009-02-08T13:10:00.000-08:00

So in 9th grade, I took Painting for my elective class. I wasn't great, but I was pretty good. (Once, I painted an "orange" in various shades of purple; the teacher actually saved the painting to show to his classes the next year as an example of monochromatic painting. Sadly, someone started painting over it this year in orange.) I decided that I wanted to take a different type of art each year. Maybe I'd take Drawing in 10th grade, Ceramics in 11th, and then Photography in 12th. Then I decided that I wanted to stick with Painting- so I'd take Advanced Painting in 10th grade, and IB Painting in 11th and 12th grades (I wasn't, at the time, aware that there is no such class as "IB Painting"- just IB Visual Arts).

Towards the end of 9th grade- some time in March- I started drawing. I got inspired by the design of the back of Good Charlotte's album The Young and The Hopeless. I drew Benji and Joel (Madden) in regular #2 pencil and used colored pencils for the background. Then, I decided that because I was a real artist, I should go buy some actual drawing supplies, so I did. I bought a drawing "kit" that had a few regular drawing pencils (if I remember correctly- 2B, 4B, 6B), an ebony pencil, a regular pink eraser, a gray "kneaded" eraser (I love these things), a sharpener, and 2 charcoal pencils. I also bought some real drawing paper (which is heavier than computer printer paper). I drew Billy Martin with an ebony pencil, and Paul Thomas with the charcoal. Then, I started doing some other drawings- mostly pictures of band guys that I found in magazines or online. Here's one I did of Tyson Ritter (lead singer of The All-American Rejects):

So I decided that, since I liked drawing, and I was okay at it, I should take Drawing in 10th grade. Then, about a month later, I decided I liked dance more than drawing, so I switched my schedule so I could take Intermediate Dance. Then, over the summer, I hurt my knee (more on that later), so I switched back in to Drawing.

Drawing was awesome. I really liked it. I had the same teacher for Drawing that I'd had for Painting (he is also one of the teachers of IB Art), and he was totally awesome.

In February of 10th grade, I was in the teacher's office because I had to print something out on the Arts computer printer. The teacher asked if I had considered applying for IB Art. I said no, not really, but he said that he thought I should.

So I decided that I might as well go for it. I applied for IB Art- I had to submit a "portfolio" of my strongest pieces (I included two paintings and several drawings), a one page "statement" of why I wanted to do IB Art, and I had to have an interview with the two teachers of IB Art. The interview went well, and on the last day of winter term, I found out that I had gotten in to IB Art (which, for the HL- higher level- class is 2 years, 11th and 12th grades). So I was totally psyched.

Last year (11th grade), was a lot of exploration. I used so many different mediums: oil pastels, soft pastels, pencil, charcoal, sharpies, acrylic paint, watercolor paint, photography, ceramics. This year (12th grade) has been a lot more studio time and focused on building a portfolio. I love having time to work on my art almost every single day.

The exam will be in April, and there's a few parts. (1) Send in 20 (25? 35?) photocopied pages of my "Research Workbook", which is basically a "journal" of all my art stuff. It's kind of hard to explain. (2) Send in a portfolio of my 12 strongest pieces. (3) A one-on-one critique with the IBO examiner.

Currently, I'm working on a piece that is soft pastels. Most of my work centers around music- musicians, instruments, songs, music videos.

Just because I feel like showing off, here's a few of my pieces of art (some aren't specifically for IB Art):

My classes- Part 1- Biotechnology

2009-02-07T19:01:00.000-08:00

So when I was a sophomore, I heard that my school offered a Biotechnology class, and I decided that I had to take it. So I signed up to take it junior year, but I handed in my course sign-up form late, and, as I found out that August, all of the slots had been filled up by seniors.

I went to the school, and talked to my principal (who is actually pretty cool) about what class I should take. I had already taken biology (in 8th grade), chemistry (freshman year), and physics (sophomore year). Biotechnology was filled up. I hadn't taken the required pre-course for AP Biology. I didn't have a high enough grade in Chemistry to take AP Chemistry. I hadn't taken Physics Honors, so I couldn't take AP Physics. Anatomy was also full, so what was left? AP Environmental Science. Enviro was cool, but this year (senior year), I'm finally taking Biotechnology.

And let me tell you, Biotechnology is AWESOME. I love it because it's SO interesting (and the class is great because it's not like an overload of work).

In the fall, we did mostly genetics stuff. The first thing we did was collect our own DNA and look at it under a microscope (which was pretty freaking cool). We also did paternity testing, blood typing (not with real blood!), and crime-scene DNA "fingerprinting". For my final project for the fall term, I did a presentation about Nanotechnology. Dude, nanotechnology is cool (see my post about it if you don't believe me). And the teacher loved the presentation, which was great.

This term, we're basically focused on sustainable living. Definitely not what I expected, but still really cool. We built terrariums out of old empty water bottles, dirt, moss, and charcoal (I planted corn seeds in mine, and they STILL haven't sprouted!) and water filters out of pebbles, charcoal, sand, and filter paper (the first few times you run the water through it, it just gets dirtier). Next, we're going to make ethanol, which should be exciting. We're also working on a term-long project of designing a "sustainable" house/city.

Coming soon: blogs about my other classes (AP French, AP Physics, AP Calculus, IB Art, and English) perhaps?

Ah! Sore throat.

2009-01-31T08:15:00.000-08:00

So on Wednesday, I woke up, and my throat felt a little sore, kind of like it did when I lost my voice. Only I didn't lose my voice, my voice was perfectly fine, and a few hours after I woke up, my throat felt fine.

On Thursday, I woke up, and my throat felt sore and kind of tense. Like it feels when it's really cold out, and you're running around and breathing heavy.

On Friday, I woke up, and my throat felt fine. We had to do a T-30 at swim practice. Conveniently, I had to go to the bathroom really bad about 2/3 of the way through, so I got out and ran quickly to the bathroom, which happened to be 56 degrees. 56 degrees fahrenheit. That's fucking cold for a bathroom! It's cold enough walking in there in, say, jeans and a t-shirt when you're perfectly dry, just imagine walking in there wearing only your bathing suit and flip-flops, and you're soaking wet. For comparison, the pool deck (which is DIRECTLY CONNECTED to this bathroom) is about 80 degreesish. Coffeehouse went alright. I messed up a lot in my first song (the original), and I kept like laughing through the whole thing.

Today, I woke up a little before my alarm was supposed to go off (to wake up me up to go to swim practice), and I had a really sore throat. I decided I didn't want to go to swim practice, because my throat was really sore, and I knew that swimming would just make me feel worse. So I turned off my alarm. My mom asked me if I was going to practice, and I said no. I needed sleep, for pete's sake.

My throat is still sore. I've been drinking room-temperature water, because I hate drinking ice cold water when I have a sore throat. I also didn't have orange juice today at breakfast, because I also hate drinking that when I have a sore throat.

Things I've Learned Recently- Part 2

2009-01-28T07:58:00.000-08:00

Back in December, I made a post of Things I've Learned Recently. I've learned a lot of things since then, so I figured I'd make a post of Things I've Learned Recently- Part 2.

1. In Calculus- don't forget the +C when you integrate. If you do, you won't get credit for the super-hard extra-credit problem that you did otherwise correctly.

2. Hot water (not boiling) with honey will make your sore throat feel better, at least temporarily. I woke up this morning, and my throat was a little sore. It felt like it felt when I lost my voice, although I can talk perfectly normally. My throat feels better now, thanks for asking.

3. Eggs (scrambled? omelet? sunny-side up? over-easy?) are a nutritious and delicious breakfast. Chocolate chip muffins are delicious, but not nutritious.

4. Painting with your fingers is way more fun than painting with a paint brush.

5. Translating "The seal is happy" from English to French will likely cause some lulz.

6. Swimming butterfly is hard. Swimming butterfly without messing up is harder. Swimming butterfly fast is even harder. Swimming butterfly fast without messing up is really, really hard.

7. Musicians appreciate it when you add them as friends and leave comments on their myspace pages.

8. Iridescent medium does not always make your painting look iridescent. Yeah, I know, it's a bummer. Mixing the iridescent medium with your paint won't make the paint look iridescent once it's on the canvas. If you REALLY want the paint on the canvas to look iridescent, you have to put iridescent medium OVER the painting.

9. Zebra print pants are AWESOME.

10. Birds are reptiles?

Blog of Awesomeness

2009-01-23T15:29:00.000-08:00

Okay, so as a tribute to all things awesome, I decided to make a "BLOG OF AWESOMENESS".

1. Snocap
Snocap is pretty awesome. It basically lets any musician create a free "store" to sell their own songs (like a mini iTunes, sorta)- it's really awesome cuz you can post the store anywhere, and you can also set the price for each song.

This is my Snocap store. Each song is $0.75, which is less than buying a song from iTunes.

2. Snowcaps
I love Snowcaps. Don't you?

3. Sir Isaac Newton of Awesomeness
So, I personally think that Sir Isaac Newton is a pretty awesome guy. Why? Well, I know a few reasons. (1) He pretty much invented (er, discovered?) calculus. (2) Newton's Method for approximating zeros is *awesome*. (3) Newton's Laws of Motion are pretty much the basics of physics (even though I forgot one of the three laws while taking the physics honors final last year...). (4) He has awesome hair. (5) He is credited with the invention of the "cat door".

Seriously, though, where would we be without Newton? (Answer: in a world without calculus, physics, or cat doors.)

4. Water Polo at swim practice
Okay, so "real" water polo is extremely intense. I've never played "real" water polo, but about twice a season, my swim coach lets us play water polo instead of having a real practice. We played water polo today, and it was awesome. It's fun because we get to compete against each other. It gets pretty agressive. I was the goalie for part of the game today, and I actually made a save (I think this is the first time in my life that I have ever done that).

5. Lolcats
A lolcat is basically a picture of cat, with a funny caption. I also like loldogs, lolcelebs, lolnews, lolgraphs, and failblog. I need a daily dose of lulz.

6. Free Kibble and Free Rice
If you go to visit Free Kibble, once a day, if you answer a dog-related trivia question, and (wrong or right), they'll donate 10 pieces of kibble to animal shelters (Free Kibble Kat is the cat version). You can even sign up to get a daily email reminder.
Free Rice is similar. It's all multiple choice questions, and there are tons of different topics (vocabulary, math, art history, foreign languages), and for each one you get correct, they'll donate 10 grains of rice (which might not sound like a lot, but it totally adds up)- you can do it as many times a day as you want, I believe.

Swim Practice Today

2009-01-19T14:24:00.000-08:00

Okay, so, today, January 19, 2009, I had swim practice scheduled for 9am.

Of course, I wasn't too excited about that when I realized it yesterday (I mean, who would be?). I complained all yesterday, about how awesome it would be to sleep in and feel fully rested, and how awesome it would be to not go swimming early in the morning.

But I went. I woke up at 7:45am today, and my dad drove me to practice (I was worried the roads would be bad).

Once I got to school, I changed in to my swim suit (which was last year's racing suit). I would have a picture, but I can't find it on the Speedo website, sorry.

Of course, practice didn't actually start until about 9:15. As I started swimming, I realized that the water was really clear... but of course it was only clear for like the first lap. Then, either the water got cloudy, or my goggles did, or both, cuz it looked all foggy.

I'm officially in lane 5 (6 lanes total). Today, I was the only one in lane 5, and there was no one in lane 6. So about halfway through practice (when we would normally have a break, although we didn't have a break today, which sucked), the coach decides that I should go in lane 6 for the rest of practice, and that the girls from lane 4 (which, today, was the most crowded lane) should go in lane 5 (the boys from lane 4 stayed in lane 4). I didn't really mind; I still had a lane all to myself.

Today was annoying, especially because we didn't get a break in the middle. If I can remember correctly (not necessarily in this order):
6*50s freestyle
300 kick
3*100 pull
100 build to sprint, stroke
4*75 IM
6*50 free, tight interval
8*25 free, hypoxic ("no more than 2 breaths")

Not the worst practice, I guess, but it wasn't fun.

Conference Championship Swim Meet

2009-01-16T13:18:00.000-08:00

So yesterday was the Conference Championship swim meet! The meet was at my school, and there were so many teams there.

The meet was fun, but it was super long. And while some parts of it are kind of exciting, there's a lot of waiting (just like county championships- except instead of getting to school at 6:45am, I got to stay at school till 9pm).

Yesterday was basically like this:
6:30am- I wake up, got dressed, ate breakfast, brushed my teeth, and got ready for school.
7:10- I leave for school. I left early, because on Thursday, I had accidentally left my swim bag at school, and I wanted to make sure it was still there.
7:45- I get to school. I have a lot to carry: my backpack, my purse, my laptop (in its somewhat bulky case), a small gym bag (I had additional stuff I needed to bring to the swim meet), and oh yeah- some homemade cupcakes. It's about 10 degrees (fahrenheit) out. My whole body is freezing, my hands in particular. My bag isn't outside (which is where I had thought I'd left it). So I go straight to the "downstairs" door, which is closest to the locker room. That door is locked, so I go to the "upstairs" door, which, thankfully, is open. Inside, I put down my stuff (it's a lot to carry!), and I notice that the cupcakes appear to have, like, momentarily almost frozen. Uh, what? Yeah. Then I went down to the P.E. teacher's office, and asked if she had seen my bag. My bag, by the way, is a black and pink Adidas duffle. I got it in 9th grade, specifically for swimming. I think it was about $30. Honestly, it's been such a great investment. Not only have I used it for swimming for four years, I've also used it for dance performances (when I have lots of stuff I need to bring) and for overnight or weekend trips. Anyways, the P.E. teacher hadn't seen my duffle, but she said she'd keep an eye out. I then went in the locker room, where- surprise- I had left my bag. I was glad I had finally found it.
8:10- Morning meeting starts.
8:30- Time for first period! I had English, and we were writing an in-class essay on Last Night at the Lobster, by Stewart O'Nan. I think I did pretty well on the essay.
9:30- French. We were supposed to work for half the period (9:30-10:00), and then have a going-away party for one of the kids in the class (which is why I brought the cupcakes) for the second half (10:00-10:25). The "work" we're doing is basically role-playing scenarios, using vocabulary (our vocabulary is about technology- computers, tv, phones- pretty much). My group had to role-play a scenario about someone pirating the program.
9:45- The teacher realizes that nothing is going to really get done, so she declares that the "party" can start a little early. Everyone likes my cupcakes, which makes me happy.
10:30- Calculus! I love calculus. We reviewed for a test.
11:30- IB Art. I worked on a painting today. I think it's gonna be really cool.
12:30pm- Time for lunch. I had a pizza bagel, which was okay.
1:00- Biotechnology lab. We build terrariums. I planted corn seeds in mine.
2:00- Biotechnology gets out early, so I go back to the painting room to work on my painting.
2:30- The final bell has rung. I'm done working on my painting (although the painting itself is not quite done), so I read Twilight 4 (known to some as Breaking Dawn).
3:15- I go to the senior corridor, and hang out with some of the other swimmers. We sit, talk, and do nothing.
3:25- Time to go down to the meet!
3:30- I get to the Great Hall, which is where everyone hangs out during the meet. I put my stuff down, and go get changed.
4:00- Warmups start. I go down to the pool deck, but then I realize that since I probably won't swim until after 8:00, I should just warmup during the break. Warmups are always extremely crowded at Conference Championships- each team gets only one lane. Normally, at practice, there are 5-6 people in a lane- at Conference Championships, there are like 20something people in a lane.
5:00- Finally, the meet starts. The first event is the girls medley relay. I settle in with my book, Twilight 4.
5:45- I realize that this meet is going to go on... forever.
6:30- The last event before the break is the boys 50 free. I go down to the pool, and when the event is finally over, I get in to warmup. I swam a little freestyle, then a lot of backstroke (as my event was the 100 back). Unfortunately, really fast people keep bumping in to me and passing me, so eventually, even though I haven't had the longest or best warmup ever, I get out of the pool.
6:50- I continue reading Twilight 4.
7:30- I finish Twilight 4. Want some spoilers? Well, you didn't ask, but: Bella marries Edward, gets pregnant with his child while they're on their honeymoon, and, when the mutant half-vampire/half-human almost kills Bella as she's giving birth to it, she becomes a vampire. Jacob imprints on the child, who Bella has lovingly named Renesmee. The Volturri are out to get Bella and the Cullens. It turns out that Jacob and the Quileutes (did I spell that right?) aren't really "werewolves" at all, they're actually "shape-shifters" and the fact that they take the form of wolves is merely coincidental, although real "werewolves" do exist, just not in Forks or La Push. Bella tries to learn to fight and use her magical power (she can project a protective "shield" around herself and others). The good guys win. Bella pushes the shield outside of herself, and finally Edward can hear her thoughts. They all live happily ever after. The end.
8:00- My race is coming up soon, so I go down to the pool to watch the races (the end of the boys 500 free, and the girls and boys 200 free relay), as I stretch out and mentally prepare myself.
8:15- It's time for my race. Originally, I was supposed to be in heat 1, lane 4, but my coach told me that heats 1 and 2 got combined, so I'd be in heat 2 (which was still the first heat) in lane 1. So I go to lane 1, only just as the race is about to start, another girl comes up to the lane- there's some confusion over who's in what lane. I'm in the right lane, so I get in the pool, and take my mark.
8:20- The race is over. My coach says to me that I've been very consistent in my times (which I have been). Then I get in the shower, and get changed.
9:00- After some more waiting around for the end of the meet, it's FINALLY time to go home!

A list of Billys/Billies

2009-01-14T18:57:00.000-08:00

Okay, so there are a lot of awesome people with the name Billy/Billie, so I'd like to talk about some of them.

Billie Joe Armstrong

Billie Joe Armstrong is the lead singer/guitarist of the band Green Day. He's awesome because Green Day is awesome. Also, I believe he's a vegetarian, which is also awesome.

Billy Martin

Billy Martin plays guitar and keyboards in Good Charlotte, which makes him awesome, because Good Charlotte is awesome. I actually did a drawing of this photograph (graphite/soft pastel):

Billy Ray Cyrus

I actually don't think that Billy Ray Cyrus is at all awesome, but his name is Billy, so...

Billy Elliot

Okay, so over winter break, I saw Billy Elliot on Broadway, and let me just say: it was awesome. Before I went, I didn't know much about it. But I loved it. It was SO funny when the little boys were doing "push-ups" at the beginning. I highly recommend this show. If you haven't seen it, go see it soon!

Billy Shakespeare
Love him or hate him, Billy Shakespeare is probably the best/most well-known writer in the English language, ever. Shakespeare is hard to read, but you can't not love the romance in "Romeo and Juliet", and "Hamlet" was basically a Shakespearean emo kid.

Billy Madison
I love this movie. It's kinda dumb (but then again most movies are), but it's really funny. Watch it.

Did I miss any Billys/Billies that you think should be on here? Let me know in a comment :)